Such Is Life: The Breed
by The-Other-Ghostwriter
Summary: Sequel to Such Is Life: The Spark. Two years later, SAW has to deal with his decisions as the new Allspark, the arrival of Decepticons and Autobots alike, and his feelings of regret for his responsibility. Will it be too much for him? Angst ahoy.
1. Chapter 1

_**Apparently, my first story, **__**Such Is Life: The Spark**__** was liked. To those who wanted the sequel, here it is. I hope you enjoy it.**_

Chapter 1- Catching Up 

It had been almost two years since SAW—formerly known as Sam Witwicky—became a Transformer like his guardian and friends. Two years since he lost one set of parents and gained new ones in the form of Optimus, Ratchet, and sometimes Ironhide. Two years spent perfecting the use of his new body in terms of transforming and a few practice combat rounds with Bumblebee. Other than that, his days were spent caring for Honeydew, helping carve out the rock behind the base for a lot more space, and doing what the Allspark chose him to continue—figuring out his role as the new Allspark.

SAW was sure he got at least five hours less recharge time than the others—other than Ratchet, naturally—just from staying up late thinking about the future of the Cybertronians. Who would have the next sparkling? _That_ was the biggest question. Had it been just Bumblebee, it would've been no contest. But…then there was Barricade…

The ex-Decepticon had stuck to his side like glue since he brought him back from the Decepticon base. SAW wasn't as unaware as Barricade thought he was; he'd seen Barricade looking at him all the time, even when he thought he was in recharge. It should unnerve him, but it didn't. Barricade never did anything inappropriate, and was always kind to him. He knew from the time Barricade told him he was 'attractive' that the mech would be interested in him.

The crazy part was, SAW felt slightly interested himself. He knew he probably shouldn't be, but he was, just the same.

It was ditto for Bumblebee; SAW knew that his guardian watched him more than ever now, and he also felt deeper feelings of attraction to him, too. He figured it was—somewhat—normal to have these feelings, since he talked to Ratchet, who explained that since his and Frenzy's bond was a somewhat forced one, SAW's spark could be attracted to others. He could even have another bonded spark mate. SAW, however, wasn't big on polygamy, so he disregarded _that_ thought.

Honeydew, on better notes, was growing healthily, according to Ratchet. She was nearing the four-foot mark, was speaking in full, coherent sentences, and even inherited Frenzy's old alt. mode as an GPX stereo system. Not that she really needed it, she just begged her parents for one. She also began to sleep in her own room, since her spark began to self-sustain into independency. In her hologram mode, she still looked young, just four feet tall with white-blonde hair and deep golden eyes and the sweetest face anyone had ever seen. Her monofilament wire hair had grown halfway down her back, and like SAW, happened to be a defense mechanism that spiked up and back like a porcupine whenever she got scared or surprised. Sunstreaker figured this out the hard way and lost a few fingers as a result.

Mikaela stopped by every once and awhile to check up on things and make sure Sam—she still called him Sam like Bumblebee—was still alright. She was going for her Masters in engineering like Nathan, whom she was still dating.

The twins were content living with the Eppses, especially Sunstreaker, who had 'accidentally' revealed himself to Alicia when some thugs were making trouble for her. But what really got him going was when one of them dumped beer on his hood. Twenty seconds later, all of them were hung up by their undergarments and the one who dumped beer on him ended up with half the bottle shoved up his ass. Alicia was freaked, but after her father explained a few things, she became good friends with Sunny and Sides both.

Annabelle had taken to calling Ironhide 'Daddy 'Hide' (much to the amusement of everyone else). She and Honeydew became friends and every once and awhile Honey would go under hologram to her house to stay the night. Will even let Anna stay with the Autobots sometimes during the summer, now telling her to keep the Autobots a secret now that she was entering kindergarten.

SAW was content, on the whole, with his life.

* * *

One day, a few days after Honey's fourth birthday, several things happened at once that kick started…well, everything. It had started out normally—Ratchet and Barricade were doing whatever in the lab, Frenzy and Honeydew were watching Bumblebee's _Bionicle_ bootleg DVDs he'd downloaded, and SAW was just relaxing in his room, trying to catch up on the recharge he'd been neglecting. He nearly fell off his recharge pad when an alarm went off in the main base. He got up and ran inside, where the others had already gathered. 

"What's going on?" SAW demanded, rubbing his sore leg where he'd bumped it. Ratchet was busy with the comm. and didn't answer right away.

"We've got more signals coming in!" he said excitedly. "More Autobots have found their way here!"

"Who?" Optimus asked. Ratchet flipped something on the panel.

"I'll find out," he said. **"Autobot Ratchet, come in."** Some fizzled sounds came from the panel before voices came in.

**"Autobo…tor…ing in…."**

"…That voice…that sounds like…**Please repeat,"** Ratchet said, tuning the frequency.

**"Autobot…Perceptor…com…in…" **

"Perceptor!" Ratchet said, apparently happy. "I cant believe…!" He turned back to the panel. **"Perceptor, send in coordinates of your landing site." **The monitor brought up the general location.

"Is he landing anywhere in Tranquility?" SAW asked, trying to see over Ratchet's shoulder.

"Fortunately, no," Ratchet replied. "He's landing about a mile from our base. It shouldn't take more than ten minutes for him to land."

"Are we going to go greet him?"

"Naturally. Shall we?"

Everyone transformed, and Frenzy and Honeydew hitched a ride with Barricade. They all followed Ratchet to the landing site, which was thankfully in a secluded area. When they were a proper distance to allow room for the new Autobot, they transformed back to robot mode. SAW put a hand over his optics and looked around.

"Why cant they arrive at night, like you guys?" he muttered. "I cant see a damn thing…"

"There he is," Barricade said offhandedly, pointing to a random spot in the sky. SAW looked where he pointed, and saw a tiny bright speck flying their way.

"Freakin' show-off."

The speck flew closer and closer, ultimately over their heads and skidding into a crater fifty yards away. Honeydew let out an excited shriek and pointed at the crater. Everyone else hurried over to the crater, where the pod-like thing shifted and began to take a protoform shape. It finally stood straight, looking around before landing it's optics on the Autobot team.

"Welcome to Earth, Perceptor," Optimus said, walking ahead to greet him. Perceptor nodded.

"A pleasure to be here, Optimus Prime, Sir," he said in, SAW noticed, very formal and respectful speech. He looked up at everyone else. "My friends! Wonderful to see you all again!"

"Likewise, Perceptor," Ratchet said. He gestured behind him. "I'm sure you remember everyone…?" Perceptor nodded, then stopped at Barricade.

"…Recruiting Decepticons now?" he asked humorously. Barricade shifted and made a short sound in reply.

"Yes," Optimus said. "Barricade has joined us because of…" He paused and looked in SAW's direction. "…special circumstances…" He turned back to Perceptor. "Let's go back to the base. We need to find you an alt. form and a place to stay for the interim."

"No problem for the alternative, Optimus," Perceptor said. "I already found and scanned something interesting on my way here. If you would give me a moment…" He stepped back and began to shift into…

"…Is that a giant telescope…?" SAW asked Ratchet.

"…I do believe it is," Ratchet replied. Perceptor shifted again and reformed back into a robot, this time a deep red color and more filled out. His optics were a deep, intelligent blue and his face was set and focused, much like Optimus's. His whole being practically reeked of intelligence and wisdom.

"Alright then," Optimus said, transforming back into a semi. "Hop in." Perceptor transformed and Ratchet had Barricade load the telescope inside the trailer before transforming themselves and heading back to the base.

**"Hey, Bee,"** SAW said, driving alongside the Camaro. **"Who is that guy?"**

**"Perceptor,"** was Bumblebee's reply. **"One of the greatest minds Cybertron had to offer. If humans could measure his IQ, it would be close to a million, even without access to the Web."**

**"Wow..." **SAW said. **"That smart, huh?"**

**"And more,"** Bee said. **"Cybertron's top scientist extraordinare."**

SAW was left to that information the rest of the way home. Upon reaching said destination, the Autobots transformed and Bumblebee helped Ratchet take Perceptor out of Optimus before the Autobot leader himself transformed. Perceptor transformed as well, and everyone took a moment of silence.

"SAW," Optimus suddenly said. SAW turned his way.

"Yeah, D...Optimus?" he said, not really feeling calling Optimus 'Dad' was best at the moment.

"Please wait in your room for a moment," Optimus replied in his 'leader-giving-order' voice SAW rarely heard addressed to him. He nodded and turned to leave.

"Optimus!" Bumblebee suddenly said, putting an arm out to halt SAW's retreat to his room. "I believe that Sam can tell Perceptor himself of his situation." SAW turned promptly to stare at Bumblebee.

"Er, Bee...? I dont think I..."

"SAW, please go to your room," Optimus said in a firmer voice. SAW did so, maneuvering around Bumblebee's arm and hurrying out of the main base to his room before Optimus lost his seemingly extended temper.

"Sir!" Bumblebee protested. "Why does he have to...?"

"Enough, Bumblebee," Optimus said firmly. "I doubt that SAW can fully explain his situation."

"Then why have him leave!?" Bumblebee demanded.

"Excuse me," Perceptor broke in, very confused. "I have to ask..._what _are you talking about?"

* * *

SAW sat fiddling with the blade in his left wrist for what seemed like hours before Barricade stuck his head in his doorway. "SAW?" he said softly, catching SAW's attention. SAW started and looked up. "Optimus said you could come out now."

SAW sighed and stood up, retracting the blade back into his wrist. Barricade stepped aside to allow the smaller 'bot to pass him and walked alongside him back to the main base. SAW found the other Autobots sitting silently in random places. Perceptor looked absolutely dumbfounded.

**"Optimus just wanted to break the news to him gently,"** Barricade murmured to SAW. **"He didnt really know how Perceptor would take it."** SAW nodded in understanding. He himself didnt know how the hell he would've explained it.

"Um...Da...Optimus?" SAW said softly, getting the Autobot leader's attention. "...ummm..." He promptly forgot what he wanted to say.

"I have explained everything to Perceptor, SAW," Optimus said. "Forgive me for sending you out, but..."

"No, really, it's okay," SAW reassured. "I dont know if I even _could_ have explained it..." He fell silent. "...Is it okay if I go back to my room, Sir?"

Optimus was silent. "Of course," he said softly. SAW turned and went right back into his room and settled on his recharge pad.

'Damn,' he thought bitterly to himself. 'Damn, damn, _damn_! What am I supposed to do now, O-Great Allspark? Dont _you _have all the answers?' He resisted the urge to throw something. He had tried not to think too much on the situation about being the new Allspark, and _now_ new Transformers decided to show up and rethink _everything_. Truely, he wanted everyone to have their own sparkling to care for and help repopulate their race, but what was he going to do when more of them came here? Hell, he was _just_ one person!

Turning to face the wall, SAW settled into an uncomfortable recharge he knew wouldnt last for more than an hour.

* * *

In the new Decepticon base now in another part of South America, Starscream awaited the arrival of more Decepticons that had recently showed up on his radar. He knew another Autobot had come to Earth--though he didnt know who at the moment--and that meant trouble. But now two more Decepticons had found and were making thier landing known.

He sent Skywarp and Soundwave out ahead to greet them, telling them he'd come after in a moment. After they left, he went into his lab, where a Transformer was lying strapped to the lab table, apparantly unconscious.

**"Just a few more moderations,"** Starscream said to no one in particular. **"You will regret crossing me, brother. You will regret it."**

**Ooooh! First chapter--DONE!!! ----flunks head on keypad----kjkgjkigjgasf----- Sorry. Anyway, the new Decepticons and an angst-ridden SAW next! Dear Primus, never let me write TBCs for cartoons...**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- Confiding 

SAW remained in his room for the rest of the day, and didn't come out for the night either. Frenzy came to the door more than once, but his mate's unresponsiveness turned him to sleep with Barricade that night. Honeydew kept asking Bumblebee what was wrong, but he, nor no one else, knew exactly what was. She worried so much she stayed attached to Bumblebee, even through recharge.

The next day, SAW woke up early, around five in the morning, and slid out quietly to see the morning sun. He had taken to looking at sunsets for awhile now, and wanted to see sunrises. He found that his vision had both brightened and expanded exponentially, making something like a sunrise or set ten times more beautiful and worth seeing.

The air was really cool for February; a light breeze gently rustled the trees, adding to the effect. There were few clouds in the sky, which had turned a gentle pinkish-mango color. SAW climbed up the side of the small mountain, which wasn't very hard, what with the deep ridges in it. He finally made it to a small shelf he carved out and sat facing the east.

"Breathtaking, isn't it?"

SAW jumped, his blade sliding out automatically. He whipped around to see Perceptor standing on another shelf about ten feet away from him. Perceptor raised his hand non-threateningly.

"Sorry," he said, shifting to sit himself on his shelf. "I didn't realize this area was occupied…"

"I…just woke up, actually," SAW replied sheepishly, retracting his blade. "I wanted to see the sunrise."

"I was thinking the same myself, actually," Perceptor said. "I saw the sun set last night. I was told by Optimus that the sunrise is more beautiful." He looked in the direction SAW looked. "I do believe he was right."

SAW looked east as well, leaning back against the mountainside to enjoy it. Silence resounded throughout the secluded area, save for some sparse birds singing in the trees around them.

"…You haven't been recharging well, have you?"

SAW looked up at Perceptor's question. 'How did he know?' he asked to himself. "…No…" he said softly. "Not since I was transferred into this body." He looked down at his hands. "I mean, I'm comfortable enough in it, but I cant really recharge more than a few hours--five, if I'm lucky. The funny thing is, I dont even really feel like I havent gotten rest. Even if I take just a half-hour nap, I..." He stopped short. "...Sorry..." he mumbled.

"For what?" Perceptor asked. "I'm actually very interested to hear your side of being the new Allspark--_and_ converting from an organic lifeform to one of metallic structure." He scooted closer to SAW on his shelf. "Please, do continue. I really am interested."

SAW's immediate thought was 'guy wanting to talk -equals- wants to get into my armor', but the tone in Perceptor's voice was truely innocent. The scientist really just wanted to know about him. It was like a two-year-old asking why the sky was blue--he just wanted to know for the sake of knowing.

He didnt know what came over him after that, but SAW just spilled everything he'd been holding in for the past two years.

"It sucks!" he burst out, apparantly startling Perceptor. "I know it's so selfish of me of to say it, but I _hate_ this 'being the Allspark' thing! I hate it that the future of an entire race is put on _me_! I hate that I have to choose who to father the next sparkling! It's just...it's just too much!" He buried his head in his hands, feeling ashamed he was telling a newcomer this. And it _did_ sound selfish.

"I cannot even imagine," Perceptor said, making him look up again. The scientist was looking at him understandingly in a non-judgmental way. "The Allspark is the ultimate giver of life; that power--the power to give life--has been passed onto you, along with the responsibility and decision-making that comes with it. I cannot imagine having that kind of power intrusted to me. It would be overwhelming."

"It is," SAW replied. "I mean, no one comes right out and says it, but I know that everyone is waiting for me to choose the next father of my sparkling. I dont know _who_ to choose!"

"Well," Perceptor said slowly, "have you narrowed it down any?"

"Yes," SAW said. "To two." A short silence came between them.

"...And...?" Perceptor pressed softly. SAW shifted slightly on his perch and drew his knees to his chest.

"...Bumblebee and Barricade..."

Perceptor was thoughtfully silent for a few moments. "...You care for the both of them deeply, dont you?" he said, making it sound more like a statement than a question. SAW nodded.

"I know it's a little...wrong..." he mumbled softly. "...I mean, I have Frenzy as a bonded spark mate, but that was a fluke. We're only bonded by Honeydew, but isnt that the same thing? Wouldnt it be cheating or something, if I chose Bee or Barricade to be the next father?"

"Is that what's bothering you?" Perceptor asked.

"...Only part of it," SAW replied, shaking his head. "I dont want to hurt Bumblebee or Barricade with any decision I make. I dont want either of them to feel left out, or that I dont care about them."

More silence.

"...I see," Perceptor murmured. "It's the loyalty to both of them that keeps you from making that first decision, yes?"

"...Yeah..." SAW leaned back against the mountainside again. "I just dont want anyone to get hurt, is all."

"Which is perfectly understandable," Perceptor said. "But _you_ are the new Allspark, and this is _your_ choice to make. It pains me to say it, but when it comes to us Cybertronians, we tend to put our emotions aside to do our duties, even if it hurts in the process. But you know what?" He waited until SAW looked up at him. "...It almost always works out in the end. And it will. Keep in mind that no matter who you choose first, the next will _still _have a sparkling with you. If Bumblebee and Barricade care as much about you as you do about them, then they will understand perfectly and just be happy with having you, regardless of who came first or second."

SAW stared at Perceptor, his words making his spark settle back into a calm pulse. He smiled at him and leaned his head back against the rock. "...Thanks," he said. He heard Perceptor copy his movement in relaxing.

"Anytime, SAW," he replied kindly. He was silent for another few moments. "...If you dont mind my asking, how _did_ it feel, switching from one sentient being to another...?"

SAW smiled again and shook his head. 'Oh well,' he thought. One good turn _did_ deserve another.

**Aaaaaaand, CUT! Okay, SAW has spilled, and Perceptor should be a counselor. Anyhoo, next up, Mikaela drops by with some news, and SAW discovers something he probably shouldnt have.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Findings 

When SAW had sufficiently fueled Perceptor of the knowledge of his being, both 'bots returned inside, where Honeydew was crying, holding onto Bumblebee's arm. SAW rushed forward and took her off of Bee, hugging her.

"Oh, Honey, what's wrong?" he asked urgently. Honeydew looked up with half-lidded eyes that were full of liquid and then threw her arms around his neck.

"Daddy was gone!" she cried. "Daddy was gone, I didn't know where you was!" SAW patted her back comfortingly.

"Shh…it's okay, Honey," he said. "Daddy just had to step outside for a little while. Daddy's not going to leave." This seemed to calm Honeydew down a little, enough for SAW to pull her from around his neck. "You okay now?"

"Uh huh," she sniffed, wiping her eyes. SAW was surprised and amused when she smacked his shoulder. "You don't do that ever again!"

SAW laughed. "I wont," he promised. "Will said he's bringing Anna over today. Excited?"

"Yay!" Honeydew shouted happily, jumping down from her parent's arms. She ran to her room to take out a few things for her and Annabelle to play with. The other Autobots looked on, amused by thier youngest member, then turned thier attention back to SAW.

"I was also worried, Sam," Bumblebee said. "You never get up this early, and it worried me to see that you were gone."

Perceptor, who knew that SAW really didnt even sleep at all, said nothing. He found it best to keep what SAW confided in him a secret until SAW was ready to spill on his own.

"Sorry," SAW said sheepishly. "I'll leave a note next time, alright?"

"You do that," Bumblebee said, not seeing the light sarcasm at all. "I dont mean to worry about you like this, Sam, but..." He broke off, looking at the ground.

"Worrying just shows you care, Bee," SAW said, putting a hand on Bumblebee's shoulder. "Thanks." Bumblebee smiled, then blinked his optics and put a hand to his head. "What's wrong?"

"...It's Mikaela!" Bumblebee said excitedly. Mikaela hadnt been around in awhile, so everyone was wondering how she was. Bumblebee was silent for a few moments. "She said she's coming over today with some great news!"

"What news?" SAW asked. Bumblebee was silent for another few moments.

"She said she'll tell us when she gets here."

"Aw man..." SAW hated wating for good news. "Tell her I said hi."

"Sam says hi...uh huh...right...goodbye." He broke off the comm. link. "She says 'hi' back and that she hopes you'll be happy for her."

SAW thought for a moment. "Oh," he said softly. "Maybe she's going to another college farther away..." Bumblebee shrugged.

"Who knows?" he said. "It must be good news for her, though, to tell us all."

* * *

About two hours later, well after Will brought Annabelle over, Mikaela finally drove up in her car, hardly waiting until it had stopped before jumping out. Bumblebee had to remind her to put the brakes on.

"Mikaela!" SAW said happily, walking up to her. "How've you been?"

"Great!" Mikaela said happily. Very happily. "Oh, Sam! The greatest thing _ever_ happened last night!"

"What?" SAW asked hurridly. Before Mikaela could answer, a happy shriek resounded throughout the base and Honeydew launched herself at Mikaela.

"Mikky!!!" she screeched happily, hugging Mikaela around the waist. Mikaela barely managed to balance upright from impact. She patted Honeydew's head.

"Nice to see you too, Honey," she said humorously. Honeydew gave Mikaela another squeeze before letting go.

"Bee says you gots news!" she yammered. "What, what?!" SAW carefully picked Honeydew off the ground.

"Let Mikaela breathe, Honey," he said. "She'll tell us when..."

**"Yeah, yeah, we're all here!"** Sunstreaker said, coming up the path with his brother in tow. He stopped and transformed, stretching himself out a bit. "Ah, that feels better..."

"What's this about good news?" Sideswipe said, following his brother. "We were on our way here when Bumblebee contacted us about some good news."

"Well, go inside so I can tell everyone!" Mikaela said, pushing on SAW's get for emphasis. They walked into the base where everyone else was waiting.

"What's the news, Mikaela?" Optimus asked, politely curious.

Mikaela had her hands clasped behind her back with an 'I-cant-wait-any-longer' look on her face. She smiled a mile wide before whipping her right hand from behind her back and showing it to everyone. "Nathan proposed!" she shrieked happily. "I'm getting married!"

There was a short silence before SAW bent down to be closer to her level. "That's great, Mikaela!" he congratulated. "When's the wedding?"

"I dont know yet," Mikaela said, still happy. "But I was thinking sometime next summer!"

"Congratulations, Mikaela," Optimus said. "Am I to assume that...?"

"Yes!" Mikaela said. "You're all invited!" She turned to SAW. "Sam, I dont have any...you know_...girl _best friends...so..." She broke off, a little red in the face. SAW smiled at her.

"Sure, I'll be your 'matron of honor'," he said. Mikaela dove forward and hugged his arm.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she said. "And I want Honeydew to be the flower girl!"

"Naturally," SAW said. He suddenly paused. "Oh, Mikaela! Someone new arrived yesterday!" He stood up and walked over to Perceptor. "This is Perceptor." Perceptor knelt down lower to Mikaela like SAW had done.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you," he said politely. "My friends have told me much about you."

"It's nice to meet you, too," she replied. "You're more than welcome to come to the wedding, too." Perceptor nodded.

"Thank you," he said. "It would give me great pleasure to attend."

SAW stood back and watched as everyone else gave their congrats to Mikaela. He was truely happy for her, and even more happy that she wasnt moving farther away. Honeydew was asking what a 'flower girl' was, and SAW kind of tuned out to his own thoughts and leaned against the wall, something he did a lot of recently.

"Oh! And I want Nathan to meet all of you!"

SAW promply lost his balance and slid off the wall.

* * *

After clarifying that Nathan would only be meeting their hologram forms until such occasion that he would be deemed trustworthy enough to meet them in true person, Mikaela left to meet up with her parents. Ratchet had then thrown a fit over the state of the base, and instituted a massive clean-up. The twins tried to duck out, but Ironhide snatched them both up by the backs of their necks and tossed them back inside to help Bumblebee with the main-base cleaning. SAW was helping Barricade with Ratchet's lab, seeing how his room was nearly spotless to begin with. 

"SAW, take this into my lab, and put it on the low shelf," Ratchet said slowly, making sure SAW didnt skip on the anal retentiveness. "Be very careful with it."

SAW nodded and carefully took the whateverthehellitwas in both hands and walked slowly to the lab, having to dodge Sunstreaker throwing something in a tantrum once. He found the shelf Ratchet clarified and carefully sat the thing on it, then suddenly sighed. It seemed like it was just yesterday he and Mikaela were still in high school; now, she was nearing 24 and getting married, and he didnt feel any different than before.

Was this how it was going to be from now on for him? Living for eons, like all the Autobots; never aging and watching mortals like Mikaela and his parents age and die? He wrapped his arms around himself. Was this how it was with the Autobots? With their race nearly extinct and so few left, and more dying somewhere, and others lost in parts of the galaxy waiting for a signal from someone like them to spend eternity with, instead of living it out alone? He felt a shudder run through him. If it wasnt for the others--Bumblebee, Barricade, Frenzy, Optimus; everyone--he was sure he wouldnt be able to take the madness.

SAW let out another sigh and leaned against the wall with a huff. He jumped back when it let out a hiss and slid open, revealing a secret cavity behind the wall. SAW blinked several times before cautiously sticking his head inside. It was dark, and his optics automatically switched to night vision. When he was sure nothing was going to attack him, SAW slowly inched his way inside, taking another cautious look back to make sure no one saw him.

From the hazy details, as he had not quite mastered his optional visions yet, he could see that it was another, smaller lab that by the looks of it, hadnt been used in a long while. He stepped around a little before his hip gently bumped into something. He whipped around and saw that it was a lab table...

...With something on it...

SAW felt his spark flutter as he leaned closer to look. His optics widened and his spark jumped in its casing.

It was Jazz.

Or rather, Jazz's body. SAW's optics slowly went over the form, noting that the body had been welded or something, back into one piece. The body was in nearly perfect condition--aside from the fact that no one inhabited it, anyway. SAW felt saddness overcome him. Ratchet had tried to save Jazz. And failed. He suddenly felt the urge to cry as he slowly raised a hand to touch the one warrior he hadnt gotten to know well.

He cried out in surprise when he was roughly grabbed and tossed away from Jazz's body. His head shot up to see Ratchet glaring down at him, apparantly very upset.

**"What are you doing in here!?"** he bellowed angrily. Okay, not using English. Yeah. He was pissed.

"I...I...!" SAW stuttered, trying to justify himself. The words got cought halfway up his vocals. "...I just...I found...!"

**"Dont _ever_ come in here!" **Ratchet growled, advancing on SAW. **"You _never_ should have even-!"**

"_I'm_ _sorry_!" SAW shouted, jumping up and bolting out the secret door and out of the lab. He ran past everyone out the base and into the woods that surrounded it, not stopping as his legs carried him as fast as he could go.

He didnt know how long he'd been running, but when he finally stopped just because he didnt want to run anymore, he found himself in an area he'd never seen before. He looked behind him and saw that quite a few trees much taller than him had suffered from his escape. Letting out a shuddery sigh, he slumped against a huge rock and pulled his knees to his chest. He felt ashamed, invading Ratchet's privacy like that. He knew that Jazz was a touchy subject around the Autobots, so he was never brought up. SAW didnt even know how close Jazz was to everyone. Must have been really close, for Ratchet to blow up at him like that.

SAW remained in his little huddle for awhile before deciding that getting up and apologizing was the best course of action. He stood up, brushed the dirt off of his legs and picked a branch out of his arm before turning to follow his neat little trail back to the base. Just as he began walking, he heard something zoom over him, land behind a cluster of brush and rock, and transform. Fear grasped at his spark as whoever it was walked its way toward him.

SAW took off running, knowing that transforming would do him no good. 'Just _had _to be a Solstice, didnt you?' he berated himself. 'Why couldnt I have been a Jeep, like Soundwave?' His thoughts distracted him, and he tripped over something and pitched forward. By the time he got back up, all noise had stopped. He stood up fully, his blade sliding out of his arm, and backed into his trail, looking around frantically. When he still heard nothing, he lowered his arm a little and turned to walk on back to the base, then collided with a larger mech.

He felt himself being enveloped in two arms to keep from falling back. He raised his arm, blade ready to cut his way out, when he saw who it was.

"...Thundercracker...?"

**AND I STOP THERE!!! --things get thrown at me-- Ow...sorry for the wait. I had tests and stuff. But next up--Thundercracker explains, and someone dies. Too much of a teaser? Well, I like to make you all write on that rusty, omigod-what-happens-next blade.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4- Loss**

"Optimus!"

The Autobot leader, who had nearly dropped something he was rearranging when SAW darted past him, stumbled over his cargo when his medic came running in. He put the piece of furniture down and turned to Ratchet. "What's wrong?" he asked, now a little irritated. Ratchet came to a halt before his leader, looking quite disturbed.

"It's SAW," he said. "He…" He paused. "…He found Jazz…"

Dead silence—and a few dropped items—resounded around the base.

After a few moments, Optimus spoke again. "Is that why he ran out?" he demanded. "Because he saw him?" Ratchet looked down at the ground slightly guiltily.

"…No," he finally said. "…He ran out because…I think I frightened him."

"How do you mean?" Optimus pressed. He paused. "Ratchet, what did you do…?"

"…I lost my temper, Optimus," Ratchet replied, putting his face in his hands. "It was completely out of line, but…"

"'Buts' later, Ratch!" Sunstreaker interrupted, putting down the thing Optimus instructed him to move. "We've gotta go find him before the Decepticons figure out he's alone!"

"Bumblebee, stay with Honeydew!" Optimus instructed. "The rest of you, let's go!"

* * *

SAW stared up at the Seeker, who had been completely silent since he stopped his fall. Thundercracker stared at him, then looked to the side every so often, as though afraid he was being followed. His hands never left SAW's shoulders, and SAW was too afraid to even move. Thundercracker looked back down at him, now apparently seeing how scared SAW was. 

"…I'm…I'm sorry for startling you, like that," he said, his voice sounding strange. It was somewhat hollow, with a slight glitch to it. His optics shifted to either side of him before focusing on SAW again. SAW noticed that Thundercracker's normally bright red eyes were now a darker, dimmer wine-ish color. His once proud, confident stance regressed into a slightly hunched and introverted one.

"…What…?" SAW choked over his words. "…What are you doing here…?" Thundercracker again shifted his optics around the area.

"…Running…" was all he said. SAW felt Thundercracker's grip on his shoulders flex and release slightly. "…From _him_…"

SAW shuddered at the venom in the Seeker's voice, knowing all to well who Thundercracker was talking about. "Why?" he asked softly. Thundercracker's grip flexed again before he let SAW go. He turned and leaned against a tree, remaining silent for a moment.

"…I know what Starscream did to you," he said suddenly, snapping SAW's attention back to him. "I heard you screaming. I confronted Starscream about it, and he told me that you belonged to him and that I stay away from you." He turned his head away from SAW. "After you left, things got foul. Starscream and I stopped seeing optic-to-optic completely. But…" He broke off as though to collect himself. "…Not two weeks ago, things got really ugly. Starscream pissed me off, and I attacked him. He won, and he claimed his victory by modifying my body."

SAW stepped closer, noticing that Thundercracker's voice was breaking with emotion. Thundercracker put his hand to his face.

"All I can say, SAW," he said thickly, "is that I know _exactly_ what Starscream did to you."

It took SAW a moment to realize what Thundercracker meant. "Oh, God…" SAW choked, putting a hand over his mouth. Thundercracker let out a pained noise.

"He's my brother!" he shouted shrilly. "He's my brother, and he…!" He broke off. "…I'm out," he said after a moment. SAW looked at him questioningly. Thundercracker lowered his hand to look at him. "…I'm out of Starscream's little club he put together," he clarified. "He proclaimed himself as leader of the Decepticons." He shook his head, a short laugh leaving his throat. "He just doesn't get it……Megatron's gone. There _are_ no Decepticons now. Nothing more than masterless drones carrying on something he started up millions of years ago, and now will never get finished. Starscream just doesn't understand."

SAW shifted forward slightly. "So…you're not a Decepticon anymore?" he said hopefully. Thundercracker shook his head. "Then…are you—?"

"No, I'm not joining the Autobots," Thundercracker finished. "And I never intend to."

"But why?" SAW demanded. "Why wont you join the Autobots? Starscream deserves to pay for what he did to you! And I'll vouch for you! Optimus will—!"

"The Autobots had a chance to let me join," Thundercracker interrupted. "And they blew it. SAW…" He pushed himself off the tree and walked in front of SAW again. "…Optimus Prime preaches peace and engages in as little conflict as possible. I am not the peaceful type. I _enjoy_ conflict. I _like_ battle. I _revel_ in screwing people over—including Starscream. You might not want to hear this, but I _liked_ to experiment with the humans Starscream has stored in his lab. Protecting humans is _not_ what I do. I'm a destroyer; I'm a killer. It's what I like, and what I'm good at."

"Then why are you standing here talking, and not screwing _me_ over?" SAW demanded. Thundercracker took another step forward and put his hands on SAW's shoulders. He leaned down slightly so his mouth was next to SAW's audio receptors.

"…Because I like you," he said softly. He pulled back slightly, then pressed his mouth to SAW's.

SAW was frozen on the spot as Thundercracker gently but firmly kept him in place and slid his glossa out of his mouth to lightly probe SAW's. And SAW found that it wasn't all unpleasant. Thundercracker wasn't forceful or rough like Starscream, but wasn't cautious or unwilling to move forward like he knew Bumblebee and Barricade were. It was a surprise, but a…pleasant surprise.

Thundercracker's hands slowly slid from SAW's shoulders to either side of the smaller mech's waist, his thin fingers gently sliding in the crevices. His fingertips stroked over delicate metal and wires, making SAW unconsciously shift forward into him. Thundercracker pulled back, his optics locking onto SAW's while his hands pulled SAW's body closer.

**"You are more beautiful than any femme Primus ever brought into existence,"** he murmured softly. **"I pledge my loyalty to you alone. Not Optimus; not Starscream. Only you."**

SAW gaped up at him, shocked at Thundercracker's declaration of love for him. Thundercracker brought his hand to SAW's face and leaned down for another kiss when he suddenly froze.

**"…Starscream…"**

SAW didn't have time to react. Thundercracker grabbed him to him and jumped into the air, his jets taking off.

"THUNDERCRACKER, WHAT THE FUCK!?" SAW shrieked, holding onto his shoulders tightly. He noticed that Thundercracker was flying in the direction of the Autobot base. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"Not letting Starscream get a hold of you again!" Thundercracker shouted back. "He wont let you get away again—not without his sparkling inside of you!" He suddenly nosedived—SAW noticed right away—right next to the Autobots.

"SAM!" Sunstreaker shouted, running over, his cannons activated. As soon as he touched ground, Thundercracker let SAW go. "Get away from him, you Decepticon son of a—!"

"Sunny, stop!" SAW shouted. "_He's_ not the problem!"

"What do you—?" Sunstreaker was interrupted by a blast that barely missed him by a foot. The other Autobots looked up to see two jets—an F-15 and –22—shoot their way toward them.

"Starscream!" Ironhide confirmed, his cannons revving up.

"…And Skywarp!" Sideswipe added. He focused his attention and gun on Thundercracker. "…And the runt of the family!"

"Sideswipe, _enough_!" SAW hollered. "I said, _he's_ not the problem!"

Optimus stepped forward. "Barricade, take SAW back to the base; you and Bumblebee protect him and Honeydew!" Barricade nodded and took SAW's arm to lead him back to the base, but he was cut off by an indigo Jeep that transformed into Soundwave and blocked their path.

In retaliation, Frenzy jumped from Barricade's back and stood his ground in front of SAW, arms and legs spread in defense.

"Frenzy, stand down!" Optimus commanded. "Go with Barricade and—!"

A shot rang out, cutting him off, and the spot that Frenzy occupied was now a smoldering crater and red-hot twisted metal that wasn't even recognizable anymore.

"_**FRENZY!!!**_" SAW screamed, his vocals actually shattering the glass on everyone's body. His legs gave out and his hands clutched his head as he let out another scream that made the jets swerve in the air. Barricade held onto SAW, though numbly staring at the twisted metal form of his former life partner in front of him.

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker paired with Ironhide in shooting ruthlessly up at the jets. One shot from Sunstreaker nicked Skywarp's left wing and the smaller jet swerved violently before turning and flying shakily the opposite direction. A few more shots from Ironhide nearly hit Starscream before the F-22 followed his brother back to South America.

By the time the noise settled, Thundercracker had disappeared and Barricade was holding onto a convulsing SAW, who was making noises not unlike Bumblebee made during the Sector 7 abduction. The Autobots rushed over, Ratchet in the lead.

"He's going into psychological meltdown," Ratchet said, slight panic in his voice. "Frenzy was ripped too violently from his spark bond. He needs another spark mate immediately!"

"Shit-fuck, what are we gonna do!?" Sunstreaker swore, also panicking. Optimus was about to command a retreat to the base, when Barricade caught his attention.

The Mustang was rearranging SAW in his arms, pulling the smaller mech face up. His fingers desperately searched for the activator to open SAW's chest.

"Barricade, what are you doing?" Ironhide demanded. Barricade ignored him and finally got SAW's chest open. SAW's spark was flickering dangerously and his movements were now writhe-like and weak. Barricade opened his own chest and moved SAW in his arms. "Barricade—!"

"Ironhide, let him be," Optimus said, putting his hand on Ironhide's shoulder. His voice held a sadness that made everyone else be still and silently retract their weapons.

Barricade gently held SAW in his arms and brought their chests together. A light pulse erupted through the air and Barricade made a slight pained sound, but he kept his hold on SAW. The smaller 'bot twitched and made light whine sounds.

Optimus watched for a moment, knowing that physically-produced spark mate bonds took awhile to complete, then something caught his periph. Soundwave and his released Cassettes were slowly advancing toward the crater and what was left of Frenzy. They were still next to it for a moment before Rumble let out a pained shriek and dove in, holding his body against the twisted metal. Ravage yowled weakly and nuzzled another metal cluster with the tip of his nose. Laserbeak made high-pitched blips and fluttered down next to his brothers. Soundwave himself knelt down next to the crater, his hands and fingers twitching. Optimus watched on as Soundwave gently brushed Rumble aside and picked the remains of Frenzy up in his hands. He brought Frenzy up to his chest, and Optimus saw Soundwave's visor and faceplate slide away to reveal a monotonous face and deep violet optics. Soundwave held his lost Cassette—one of his beloved children—close to his spark and made uncharacteristically angst-ridden sobs. After a moment, he stood back up, his Cassettes clinging to him, and slowly retreated out of the area, his head lowered in dead defeat.

Between the loss of Frenzy and Barricade saving SAW, no one dared to say a word or make a sound. However, all of them were thinking the same thing—What were they going to do now?

**Yeah, I kinda planned on offing Frenzy from chapter 20 of the prequel. Sorry for Frenzy fans, but it was a decision I had to make. I'm a big Frenzy fan myself, so it was hard for me too. –bows head— Forgive me, readers.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5- Gain**

The Autobots watched and waited for almost a half hour before they all felt the spark bond complete itself. Barricade slumped forward weakly, barely able to keep himself upright with both arms still around SAW. Using what little energy he had remaining, he pulled SAW away from him and closed the smaller mech's chest, then his own before leaning back and holding SAW with both arms once more. After a few moments, Optimus stepped forward.

**"Are you alright to walk back to the base, Barricade?"** he asked softly. Barricade looked up at him with hazy eyes, then nodded. He carefully tucked one arm under SAW's legs and lifted slowly dragged himself to his feet, pulling SAW up with him. **"Do you...?"**

**"I'm fine," **Barricade cut in weakly. The Autobots waited until Barricade had taken a few steps before proceeding back to the base, Optimus in the lead and Barricade behind.

Ratchet kept in stride with Optimus so they were side-to-side. **"What now, Optimus?"** he murmured softly so only Optimus could hear.

**"...I really cannot say, Ratchet," **Optimus replied. **"That is all up to SAW now, what to do next."**

**"There's something that's bothering me, Optimus,"** Ratchet suddenly said. **"It's Thundercracker. Of all the Decepticons, he and Skywarp were the closest to Starscream. Why would he betray them? And what were he and SAW talking about? I know they were alone together, or Thundercracker wouldnt have brought SAW back."**

**"Again, I cannot say," **Optimus said. **"Soundwave concerns me as well. His Cassettes were the only things that came before Megatron, and now Starscream has just killed one of them."**

**"Do you think that Soundwave will turn on Starscream?"**

**"...I dont know, Ratchet."**

A short silence.

**"What about Bumblebee?" **Ratchet said softly. **"How is he going to take this?" **Optimus shook his head.

**"Maturely enough, I hope," **he said solemnly, looking over his shoulder at Barricade, who had fallen a little behind. **"All of us knows how much Bumblebee adores SAW. I overheard him telling Perceptor that he wishes _he_ could have been SAW's bonded spark mate."** He shook his head again. **"He and Barricade _just_ forged a friendship. I would hate to see that go to waste because of Barricade's actions."**

The rest of the way back to the base was in silence. A few moments later, the base was in view, and Perceptor was standing in the doorway, looking upset. "Is everyone alright?!" he demanded. "I heard a riot not five miles from where you came from!"

"Starscream and Skywarp attacked," Optimus said, walking past him solemnly. "...Frenzy was a casualty." Perceptor put a hand to his mouth, but said nothing more.

"Optimus!"

The Autobot leader whipped around to see Bumblebee running toward him, Honeydew in hand. The sparkling was crying and twitching violently, her golden optics dimmed. "What happened? Honeydew's been having fits for almost an hour! Where's SAW!?"

Optimus was silent for a moment. "...Starscream and Skywarp attacked us just as we found SAW," he said soflty. "...Starscream...shot and killed Frenzy."

Bumblebee's optics flashed in panic. "Then were is he!? We have to save him--!"

"I already did."

Bumblebee turned to see Barricade just coming in, with an unconscious SAW in his arms. He walked up to Bumblebee, his red optics dim and his head lowered, as though shamed. "...He...he was dying, Bumblebee," he said with a slight stutter. "I had to save him...I'm...I'm sorry..." Without waiting for a response, Barricade shifted around Bumblebee and headed for SAW's room.

Bumblebee stared into space for a moment before emitting an angst-ridden sob. His legs gave out and Sunstreaker and Sideswipe barely caught him before he hit the floor. Ratchet gently took the still-twitching Honeydew from Bumblebee's shaking hands to prevent any accidental harm.

"...Help him into the lab," Ratchet instructed to the twins, who nodded, each grabbing an arm to hoist thier adoptive brother up and to follow Ratchet.

Ironhide, Optimus, and Perceptor stood in silence in the main base, not knowing what to say. Perceptor excused himself to see if he could be of any use to Ratchet.

"...Bumblebee took it better then I thought he would," Ironhide remarked. Optimus shifted his optics to him.

"I just hope he takes it a lot better when Barricade fully explains himself," he replied. "Their feud over SAW might rekindle if Bumblebee isnt willing to accept reality."

"Do you think it was right?" Ironhide asked. "To let Barricade bond with SAW, I mean."

"He was the only one of us that was in the proper state to do so," Optimus replied. "Frenzy and Barricade had a bond as well, and he was hurting, just like SAW. They _both_ needed that bond."

Ironhide stared at Optimus. "...That doesnt answer my question," he said before turning and walking out of the main base, leaving his leader in silence. Optimus, now alone in the main base, remained silent for a few moments, looking around pointlessly. He let out a soft sigh and allowed his faceplate to retract before he sat himself down and put his face tiredly in his hands. It were times like these that he wished he had SAW's ability to cry.

**Sorry for the wait! --bows head humbly-- I had midterms and my computer is screwy, and the only internet I have is my mom's computer and the ones in the library. I'll try to get the next chapter up faster! --looks up at the last paragraph-- See? Even Optimus Prime has his weaker moments. --nods-- Until next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6- Compromise 

It took awhile to get Bumblebee and Honeydew calmed down and in stasis. The twins and Ironhide were dismissed to their respective guardians, and Perceptor was sent to check on SAW, who was in a quiet recharge. Barricade himself had reverted to recharging sitting up against the wall next to SAW's recharge pad.

After the twins and Ironhide had left, Ratchet found left his lab to find his leader sitting with his head in his hands, a sign that he was on the verge of a mainframe breakdown.

Things were quiet in the base for about a day and a half while the newly-mated and traumatized recuperated. Honeydew was actually the first to wake up, asking Ratchet where Daddy and Zee-Zee were. Ratchet was very quiet, and said that Daddy needed rest. He said nothing about Frenzy. Honeydew sensed that something was wrong, and remained silent in Ratchet's lab, lying on Bumblebee's arm.

Barricade had actually not been in a full recharge; constantly skipping back and forth between that line of dream and consciousness. He kept replaying the horror over and over; seeing in normal and slow-motion his beloved partner being shot and reduced to twisted, unrecognizable metal. More recently, he kept thinking that he was going to meet the same fate when Bumblebee get a hold of him. As though he didn't feel guilty enough. The only reason he didn't pursue SAW himself sooner was because of Bumblebee. He knew all too well that Bumblebee had deep feelings for SAW; deeper than his own, probably. He didn't want his new friendship with Bumblebee to be a waste.

He looked sidelong at SAW. The smaller mech was still in uneasy recharge, and he could feel through their bond that SAW was suffering, too. He knew that SAW deeply cared for Frenzy; maybe even loved him. He was anxious at how SAW would react to him taking on the role of his mate. He just hoped that SAW would understand that it was to save him. He hoped Bumblebee would see it that way, too.

It wasnt fair, Barricade kept saying to himself. This should have been Bumblebee's chance. SAW should be Bumblebee's mate, not him. And now, both being victems of circumstance, they were both screwed over.

Or were they...?

Barricade looked at SAW for the umpteenth time, thought for a moment, then nodded to himself. Yes, he thought. He believed he could make this work...

* * *

The next morning, Barricade was jerked out of his already light stasis to hear some arguing outside of SAW's room. He vaguely recognized Bumblebee's voice being garbled with Optimus and Ratchet's, and caught words like 'trick' and 'betray'. He made a growling noise when he saw that his mate was being disturbed by the racket and stood up to get what he had to say out in the open--and prepare for a few hits. He stuck his head outside the doorway to see Optimus and Barricade blocking Bumblebee's entrance into the room while Bumblebee kept shrieking at them to move. 

Bumblebee finally made optic contact with Barricade, and pushed harder to get past Optimus and Ratchet. **"You!"** he screamed, clawing at the other two's arms. **"How could you!? You thief! You whore!"**

"_Bumblebee_!" Optimus snapped at Bumblebee's language. "That's enough!"

**"The Pit, it isnt!"** Bumblebee's facial armor came down in attack mode. **"He stole Sam from me! He stole him! I'll kill him!_ I'll kill him_!"**

"If you kill him, then SAW will be in worse danger than before!" Ratchet cut in, still struggling to keep his hold on the younger mech.

"_Then at least I'll be here_!"

"Let Barricade explain himself!" Optimus shot back. Bumblebee let out a high-pitched shriek and finally broke away from the other two to dive at Barricade, who had prepared for this. Barricade, in a display of grappling he hadnt shown before, grabbed Bumblebee's outstretched cannon arm, brought it down, twisted it behind his back, and kicked the legs right out from under Bumblebee, who fell right to the floor, where Barricade kept him pinned in the easily detained area between Bumblebee's 'wings'. He let Bumblebee thrash around for a moment before leaning down so the Camaro could hear him.

**"Get a fucking hold of yourself!" **he hissed softly. **"SAW is right behind me in the next room; if you attack me, you'll hurt him. I know that's not what either of us wants, so calm down and let me say what I have to say. After the fact, if you deem it necissary to kill me, then go right ahead and make SAW yours."** Bumblebee let out a growling hiss sound and fell quiet. Barricade kept him pinned, though. **"Thank you. To begin, SAW was dying. He wouldnt have made it back here in time for us to save him from death or serious permanent damage. It we had waited, everything about SAW would have been gone, leaving only an empty shell of consciousness. I didnt want that. I know you didnt want that. I saved him for the both of us, Bee."**

Bumblebee made small whining sounds from under him. **"...but..."** he said so softly Barricade almost missed it, **"...he's mine...always been mine..."**

**"You're not the only one who loves him, Bumblebee," **Barricade replied, making Bumblebee turn his head to look at him with one optic visible from under his head armor, apparantly surprised. Barricade was silent for a moment. **"I love him too, Bee. But the only reason I didnt pursue him for myself is because of you. You're my friend. I didnt want to hurt you or our friendship. But..."** He broke off, his mind replaying the attack and death of his life partner once more. **"All I could think about back then was saving him. I couldnt lose two of the most important beings in my life...not in one day, Bee. Not again..." **

Barricade sat up and let off of Bumblebee, who sat up slowly and carefully. Barricade sat back and leaned against the wall behind him.

**"What I did wasnt fair to you, Bumblebee,"** he said. **"I know that. And you're right. SAW does rightfully belong to you. You were always there, and I wasnt. I just wanted to save him...for me, and for you."**

Bumblebee's armor and cannon retracted as he sat on the floor in front of Barricade, a silence hanging between them for another few moments. Barricade finally looked up again.

**"I'm SAW's mate now, Bumblebee," **Barricade said softly. He looked Bumblebee in the optics. **"...But I want you to father the next sparkling."**

Bumblebee--as well as Optimus and Ratchet, who had been silent the whole time--looked at Barricade in surprise. The Mustang nodded at them, then turned to look at the room containing SAW.

**"It was always your right,"** Barricade said. **"It is what should have been a long time ago. You father the next sparkling, Bee."** He stood up and stepped over to Bumblebee, offering a hand up. **"I'll have time to father one later. For now, I just want to help him through his whole ordeal. I'll be needing your help." **

Bumblebee looked from Barricade to his hand and back again before allowing Barricade to help him up. No sooner was he on his feet did he leap forward and pull Barricade into a hug. Barricade stiffened at the unfamiliar gesture, and awkwardly returned it. Optimus and Ratchet nodded to each other and silently slipped back into the main base, where Honeydew and Perceptor were waiting, allowing the other two to talk about what to do next with SAW.

**I. Hate. Writers' block. Yeah. Sorry again for the wait. --lowers head in shame-- Next up...Bee and Barricade negotiate relationships with SAW.**


	7. Chapter 7

_I apologize IMMENSELY for the lack of an update! I've had KILLER writer's block, but the muse struck once more! _

**Chapter 7**

It was a mix of soft pain and vertigo that SAW experienced when he first came back online. He first became aware that there was a dull silence in the area, and then his optics came back online. After blinking a few times, he sat up, putting a hand to his head with a wince as he was hit with a dizziness that faded after a few moments. He looked around, and noticed that he was back in his room in the base. Confusion filled his mainframe; why was he here? He was supposed to be cleaning the base for Mikeala and Nathan's arrival...but then he had found...

Oh Primus....he had found _Jazz_. He had found Jazz and Ratchet had chased him out of the lab.....he had run into Thundercracker....then Starscream attacked.....and...

......And.....

SAW's mainframe seemed to freeze over with horror. Frenzy. ....Frenzy...........Frenzy had been......

"...No..."

Feeling his spark pulse frantically in his chest, SAW began to clench his fingers to his armor, making sharp sounds deep in his throat. The vision of Frenzy being reduced to nothing but a pile of twisted, shapeless metal in a smoldering crater stuck to his brain like it had been knifed into place; it wouldnt go away!

_IT WOULDNT GO AWAY!!!_

A protoform-shattering shriek wrenched itself from SAW's throat as he shot up from his recharge pad and uprooted it from the floor to violently hurl it at the wall. It bent and crunched to the ground, and SAW continued to scream as he slammed his fists into the wall and picked up anything else within his reach to tear apart or throw.

It didnt take long for the Autobots to become aware of the racket coming from the room. Optimus didnt wait for the automatic slide to open the door and instead tore it from its hinges in his hurry. "SAW!" he shouted over the racket, rushing over to attempt to calm his adoptive son down. SAW let out a shriek of rage and slammed his fist into Optimis's face, making the Autobot leader fly back into a wall from the sheer force of the blow. He barely had time to register that he had been hit before SAW turned to him and began pummeling the metal shards out of his leader.

The other Autobots came running in, and froze momentarily at the sight of their normally docile SAW violently assault their commander--and quite effectively, nonetheless. Finally, Barricade darted in and pulled SAW off of Optimus's nearly unconscious form.

"SAW!" He held on with all the strength he had as his spark mate thrashed and screamed in both English and Cybertronian, hurting from the physical and mental agony of losing Frenzy. **"SAW, please! Please stop!" **

**"FRENZY!!!"** SAW screamed, not acknowledging Barricade. **"FRENZY!!!"**

**"Yes, I know, SAW!" **Barricade yelled out over the screaming. **"I know...!"** He felt a jolt of agony in his own spark and nearly let go of SAW, but kept his hold regardless. He turned to the door. "BUMBLEBEE!!!"

Said Camaro rushed into the room, trying not to get hit by SAW. "Bumblebee, help me! Open his chest! Open his chest!" Bumblebee dodged another swipe from SAW and fumbled for the activator per Barricade's order. Just as he got SAW's chest open, he was slashed in the face by SAW's blade, effectively loosing an optic. But he didnt falter for an instant, and held onto SAW while Barricade opened his own chest, revealing his spark, and pulled SAW back to him, chest-to-chest.

A pulse echoed gently thorugh the room, and SAW fell quiet, making soft sounds and falling limp in Barricade's hold. Bumblebee ignored the sharp pain in his face and gently held SAW from behind, resting his head on SAW's shoulder, murmuring soft comforts in Cybertronian. With SAW safely stabilizing, Ratchet quietly slid into the room and pulled his leader out to safety to perform what he knew to be some minor surgery and to get things ready to fix Bumblebee's eye when said Camaro had his time with his charge.

It took a few minutes, but SAW finally calmed down completely and leaned his head tiredly on Barricade's shoulder. Barricade withdrew ever-so-slightly to close their chests, then gently brushed Bumblebee's arm to get his attention.

**"Help me get him to our room, Bee,"** he said softly. Bumblebee nodded and stood up, helping rearrange SAW into Barricade's arms, and led them both to the conjoined room to set SAW down. SAW had fallen back into stasis by this point, and was quiet. Barricade gently brushed his hand over SAW's face and sighed with relief, then turned to Bumblebee. "You should have Ratchet take care of your optic," he remarked, gesturing to Bumblebee's face. The Camaro raised a hand to gently prod at the wounded area.

"It can wait," he replied, brushing his free hand against one of SAW's. Barricade nodded and sat down next to the recharge pad, and Bumblebee followed suit. "...It's not fair, Barricade....to him, and to you..."

"Your sympathy is appreciated, Bee," Barricade replied softly, putting his face in one hand tiredly. "...But I'm more concerned about the lack of fairness in SAW's life rather than mine...I've felt the pain of loss before, and...it helped repress the pain of this one with Frenzy....but he....he's never..."

"I understand," Bumblebee said. "We can only help him through this pain and make perfectly sure it never happens again...wha...?" He was cut off when he felt something tugging at his leg. He looked down and saw Honeydew peering up at him with her large golden optics. "...Honey...?"

Honeydew made a soft whimpering sound and tugged at his leg harder. Bumblebee gently picked her up and held her close to his chest. "Bee..." Honeydew whimpered, cuddling into him, "...Daddy?" Bumblebee gently stroked her back with one of his fingers.

"Daddy will be alright, Honey," he replied assuringly. "Sam....just needs some rest now....just a little quiet time...then he'll be all better..." He braced himself for the impending question, and he was not disappointed.

"....Zee-Zee.....?" Honeydew looked between Bumblebee and Barricade, who were exchanging looks of grief and wondering how to best put this for Honeydew. Finally, Barricade held out his hands and Bumblebee handed her over. Honeydew knew Barricade as her 'other-extra' father, courtesy of Zee-Zee, but now, Honeydew couldnt 'feel' Zee-Zee, but 'felt' 'Cade -Cade even stronger now. 'Cade-Cade would know where Zee-Zee was. She hugged his fingers and looked up at him. "...'Cade-Cade....where Zee-Zee?"

Barricade barely felt like he could tell her without vomiting up his own spark mid-word. But he took a moment to compose himself before speaking. "...Honey......Zee-Zee........Frenzy....is...not with us anymore..." Honeydew made a soft sound and hugged Barricade's fingers tighter.

"Where Zee-Zee go?" she asked, feeling her own 'sparkly' bump against her chest. It made her feel scared and sad. Barricade took another moment.

"...He--oh, Primus, give me strength--went where.....all sparks go....when they're not in a body anymore....."

Honeydew blinked softly. "...Like....went to see Primus?" Barricade shifted slightly. Explaining Cybertronian theology to a sparkling was a very tender subject.

"....Yes, Honey," he replied. He looked over to see Bumblebee with his face in both hands and his 'wings' twitching. "...Primus...is looking after Zee-Zee's spark now...because....Zee-Zee's spark is not with _us_ anymore....do...do you understand...?"

Honeydew thought for a moment, then nodded slowly nodded. "...Zee-Zee...is with Primus now..." she relayed to Barricade, who nodded. She hugged Barricade's fingers even tighter. "...Why?"

Barricade made a strange sound in his vocals that Honeydew had never heard before, but the sound made her 'sparkly' hurt. "....Honey...do you remember.....Optimus telling you about the Decepticons?" Honeydew nodded. She remembered how Optimus was very solemn when he told her about them. "...Do you remember...about Starscream?" Honeydew nodded again and shuddered. She had heard very scary stories about that Decepticon. "Well....Starscream.......is why Zee-Zee went to be with Primus."

He paused and waited for any indication that Honeydew knew what he was talking about. After a few minutes of dead silence, Honeydew began to softly cry into his hand. Barricade held the sparkling to his chest, feeling like he too could 'cry' like his spark mate and his new 'step daughter'. From the looks of Bumblebee, the Camaro was the same way.

The three of them quietly released their angst in their own ways while SAW slept nearby. Nobody bothered them until the next morning.

* * *

**I'm hoping that staved you off until the next chapter! It wont be long, I can promise, because Hell, I'm working on it right now!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7**

Sometime during the night, SAW had began to have a minor fit; mere twitching and soft sounds in his sleep. Barricade gently handed Honeydew to Bumblebee, who cradled her to his chest near his spark to comfort her as Barricade climbed up on the recharge pad and held SAW to his form. Almost immediately, SAW regained calmness and remained that way for the rest of the night and well into morning.

It was Perceptor who quietly poked his head into the room near afternoon to check up on them. Ratchet was still fussing over his leader, who was trying to assure him that he was in fine working order, the twins had split; Sunstreaker remained at the base with Ironhide for guard duty while Sideswipe returned to the Eppses as transportation for them and the Lennoxes. Bumblebee looked up and saw him.

"How is he, Bumblebee?" Perceptor asked softly, stepping into the doorway. Bumblebee sat up, still holding the sleeping Honeydew to his chest.

"Better," Bumblebee replied, glancing at the sparkmates. "He had a small fit in his recharge a few hours earlier, but he's been calm since." He looked back at Perceptor. "Optimus?"

"Alive, well, and trying to get Ratchet to let him out of the med bay," the scientist replied. His face twitched in worry. "You, however, are in need of surgery. Your eye is still leaking some energon." Bumblebee reached up with a free hand to touch the hole in his face where his eye used to be. Perceptor held out his hands. "I'll take care of the sparkling, Bumblebee. You take care of yourself now."

Bumblebee sighed and relented, handing Honeydew to Perceptor. "Thank you, Perceptor," he said, leaving the room toward the med bay. Perceptor gently held Honeydew, stroking her back with one finger, and watched over SAW and Barricade, who were still in recharge.

One would have thought as a scientist, he would have been spared the horrors of war. But no. He had seen battles, he had seen with his own optics comerades and enemies alike be torn limb from limb. He had seen spark mates suffer and die terrible, agonizing deaths from being ripped by the spark from one another. He himself very long past had held a dying sparkling in his arms; one of the last ones born. That is one memory in his databanks he wished he could be rid of, but never could. And now...that terror had come to this small planet. One spark mate had died, and his mate had almost went with him. Thank Primus that Barricade had thought quickly enough, or SAW and the Allspark would have been tormented to death.

He glanced down at the sparkling in his hands, remembering what Optimus had told him awhile ago. That this sparkling--Honeydew--was one of what was to be many of a new breed of Cybertronian; a breed that could reproduce and self-sustain on their own. He remembered that Optimus said that this new breed was a miracle of Primus; His will that had led the Allspark to this planet where life could reproduce in its own, and eventually find a home in a being that could carry it on. It was Primus's will that if His own childeren could not fix their mistakes, then the Allspark would find something--or someone--that could.

_"And you believe that this child--this human-turned-Cybertronian--is that someone, Optimus?"_

_"I do, Perceptor. He is our savior. His uniqueness given to him by Primus Himself is our second chance. Our only chance."_

That was too much to put on the child, Perceptor knew. SAW had said so himself. It was almost too much just to bear the birth of Honeydew; now he was expected to bear an entire new breed; a new generation. How many until it would be enough? For Optimus? For SAW? For Primus himself, to be satisfied?

Perceptor shook his head and allowed himself a passive look as the sparkling blinked her golden eyes open and stared up at him. "'Ceptor?" she said softly, leaning her head on his chest. He nodded.

"I'm here, little one," he said softly. He backed out of the room. "Let's let them rest, yes?" Hearing her small chirp of agreement, he walked back to the main room to entertain her.

* * *

SAW opened his eyes again, though this time, it was without the pain and dizziness. Instead, he was filled with a sensation of warmth and security; his sight settled on the still-recharging Barricade, who was holding him close to his chest. He blinked once, and then remembered what had transpired hours earlier. Frenzy was dead...and in his being, he felt that Barricade...was his new sparkmate. Barricade had saved his life, easing both thier pains of loss. But then he had woken up and....he couldnt quite remember what had followed. All he could remember was rage and pain...and then comfort.

Sighing softly, SAW leaned his head back against Barricade's shoulder and absently tranced his finger along the metal in Barricade's arm. He found himself actually remembering when he first met him..._him_, in his true Cybertronian form. Scared the shit out of him, that's what Barricade did. He remembered being face-to-face with him, barely two feet between them. Strange, what a simple change in outer form could do to a person. His entire form seemed to change from a menacing metal demon to a strong, passive metal person, much like the Autobots. Barricade no longer frightened him after their second meeting. His tone had softened, as did the aura of toughness around his spark. Barricade had changed so much--and for the better, in SAW's opinion.

"I can practically hear you thinking, SAW."

SAW started sharply, unaware that Barricade had awoken while he was in his midst of thought. An arm tightened around him. "Easy, I didnt mean to frighten you..."

"No, you didnt," SAW part-lied reassuringly. "I was just thinking..."

"Very loudly," Barricade said teasingly. SAW rolled his optics.

"Alright, smart-aft," he retorted. "If I'm thinking so loudly, what was I just thinking?"

There was a slight pause. "...About us." SAW blinked. "I'm right, am I not?"

SAW grumbled to himself about Barricade being correct, then sat up and stretched. "I dont think I've slept so long since I became Cybertronian," he commented, rubbing his head. Barricade sat up as well and slid off the recharge pad.

"You should have Ratchet look you over," he said, helping SAW to his feet. "Everyone's been worried about you since you returned."

"Bumblebee?" SAW questioned. Barricade decided to forego telling him about Bumblebee's fit.

"He was the most worried for you," he replied. "He helped me to comfort you." He paused. "...He...cares for you deeply."

"And I care for him, too," SAW replied, looking over his shoulder at Barricade. "...And you."

Barricade shifted his gaze at SAW, and smiled softly.

"And I you." He patted SAW's shoulder and led him to the med bay.

* * *

It was good fortune that Bumblebee's optic was replaced by the time SAW entered the lab. Barricade figured that the less grief SAW had to deal with, the better. As soon as both SAW and Barricade entered the lab, Ratchet hastily pushed Bumblebee to clear the area up and began to fuss over SAW; asking questions, taking core temperature, checking every physical aspect he could find. By the time he was finished, SAW was wishing he hadnt come to the lab in the first place and it didnt help that Barricade was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed and looking like he was repressing laughter.

It was humorously satisfying when after Ratchet cleared SAW, he rounded on Barricade and practically threw him on the med table for his own examination. SAW took up Barricade's former position on the wall to watch smugly as Barricade suffered through Ratchet's less-than-gentle care. By the time Barricade was allowed up, both he and SAW were glaring at Bumblebee, who was laughing at them both--on the inside, of course, but it was still apparent. After the fact, the three of them left the lab to reside in the main lab, where Optimus was taking over childcare from Perceptor, who was putting last-minute perfections on the cleaning and arranging like the perfectionist he was.

As soon as Honeydew saw her father up and walking, she let out a happy shriek, jumped down from Optimus's arms, and darted over to SAW and made a high jump enough to hug his waist. "DADDY!!!" she cried, hugging him as tightly as she could. SAW picked her up and gently hugged her. Barricade gently stroked her head with his fingertip and Bumblebee put his arm around SAW gently. Optimus looked over the small family for a moment before making himself known.

"How are you feeling, SAW?" he asked softly, stepping forward. SAW looked up and nodded.

"Much better," he replied softly. "I'm....still sore...hurting....but I'm feeling better." Optimus nodded, deciding to not give SAW the detail about the berserk attack made on his person.

"That's good," he said pleasantly. "However...I must ask if you are well enough for the arrival of Mikaela and Nathan tomorrow, because if you're not, we can postpone."

SAW thought for a moment, quietly, then shook his head. "No, let them come," he replied. "I truly want to be there for Mikaela, and show her how happy I am for her..." He broke off and cuddled Honeydew to him, going silent. Optimus sighed.

"Yes, I know," he said. "But at the moment, I'm concerned for _your_ well-being." He put a hand on SAW's shoulder. "Tell me honestly. Do you feel up to this?" SAW looked up at his adoptive father and locked optics for a few moments before sighing.

"...I dont know," he finally said. "But I want her to come tomorrow. I really do..." He looked down at Honeydew. "I'll be happy for her sake."

Optimus stared at SAW for a few more moments before nodding. "Alright," he said, stepping back. "But if you should feel overwhelmed at all, just say so."

"Yes Sir," SAW replied. He stood silenty for a moment before turning toward the back way to go look out over the trees on the cliffside.

Optimus, Barricade, and Bumblebee looked after him, all three of them looking worried and apprehensive.

* * *

**Hope this makes up for all that time loss! Next one coming up soon!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 7**

The rest of the day and the night went without a single hitch. SAW merely spent the rest of the day heavily supervised outside with Honeydew, then returned back inside and then recharged in Bumblebee and Barricade's room while the latter two made repairs on his room. They ended up recharging on the floor next to SAW near midnight.

At ten in the morning, Ratchet made rounds, waking everyone up and telling them to get up and get ready. 'Get ready' meant getting themselves somewhat clean and putting on their holo-forms to get comfortable with them, since Mikaela and Nathan would be there in less than an hour.

SAW activated his holo-form, which was basically himself before the change, just 25 years old. There really wasnt that much of a difference, to be honest. Honeydew's holo-form was an over-form. She compacted her size to make herself the height of a normal five-year-old, with white-blonde hair and very light brown--almost golden--eyes.

Barricade's holo-form was his usual; around six-foot-four, looked about to be in his late twenties, black hair, sharp reddish-brown eyes, and whose entire physique seemed to announce that he was one who could kick your ass. He agreed on the alias of "Cade".

Ratchet's was quite different. He looked about forty or forty-five, with dirty-blonde hair, a stern, no-nonsense face, and very dark blue piercing eyes. Since his name wasnt too far-fetched, there was no change to comply to the holo-form.

Perceptor--aka "Percy"--was the epitome of 'scientist'. He was tall, thin, had dark reddish-brown hair, and had an added bonus of large glasses on his intelligent, well-meaning face.

The Twins--Sunny and Sides--looked exactly alike; young, twenty-or-so-looking, mischievous-looking expressions. The only difference was Sunny had bright blonde hair that was spiked up, and Sides had dark red hair that was slicked back.

Ironhide--"Hide"--looked like one of those old war veterans that was still in prime shape with a gun fetish. He had black hair with streaks of grey, and greyish-blue eyes. He was the second-tallest, next to Barricade, but twice as broad. Out of everyone, he looked the oldest.

Bumblebee--"Bee"--looked the same age as SAW (Sam), and had blonde hair with occasional black streaks and had vibrant blue eyes.

Optimus didnt have to have an alias name since Nathan had already heard of him and assumed 'Optimus' was a Greek name. He looked to be about in his mid fifties, and had salt-and-pepper hair and bright blue eyes.

Overall, everyone looked normal, and besides the jubilee of colorful vehicles that inhabited the area, everything looked alright. Right before the time for Mikaela to come over arrived, Sgt. Epps, Captain Lennox, Maggie, and Glen came over and reintroduced themselves to the holo-forms. After getting somewhat reacquainted, Mikaela finally arrived with Nathan.

Nathan first greeted Sam, since he had met him first some years ago, then made some sweet talk with Honey before being dragged around by Mikaela to be introduced to her friends.

SAW stood back against a wall and watched as Nathan hit it off with everyone easily; even Ironhide, who was the hardest Autobot to get friendly with. Mikaela was laughing and chatting away, showing off her engagement ring with Maggie, answering Perceptor's subtle questions about marriage, the like. He was so happy for her. He really was.

It took about five minutes before he realized that his hand was clutching the front of his chest, where his spark-heart would be if he were still human. He was absently thinking about Frenzy...about how he would have been enjoying this right now... He felt a rising feeling in his spark back in his Pontiac form; it was a sick feeling.

Feeling like he was going to vomit his own spark out the engine, SAW debated dropping the holo-form and going into a forced stasis when something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. He turned and saw someone he'd never seen before; a man who looked to be in his mid-twenties, like him, but looked very shady and un-inviting. SAW was about to alert the others for help when he noticed the man's eyes.

They were an orange-red color that locked with his own light brown ones, and SAW had an epiphany. He made sure everyone was occupied before slipping out and pulling the stranger out of sight with him.

"Thundercracker, what the hell are you doing here!?"he demanded as harshly as he could without having the others hear him. Thundercracker looked around for a moment before pulling SAW's holo-form further from the base.

"I needed to talk to you," he replied urgently, finding a free spot--which was next to his true form in jet form. He ran a hand through his holo-form's hair, a gesture SAW recognized as a sign of distress. SAW suddenly felt a bit frightened.

"What's wrong, TC?" he asked, stepping closer. Thundercracker let out a sigh and SAW heard the jet form next to him crank softly.

"I'm here to warn you that Starscream has new allies," he finally said. "More Decepticons arrived just days ago. Two of them." He leaned against his jet form. "I'm letting you know so you can warn the others, because these are two you dont want to cross, SAW..." He looked around again, as though someone were listening in, then continued.

"One of them is called Shockwave. He's incredibly intelligent, and a genius strategist. I've yet to hear of a tale where one of his planned attacks went wrong..." He paused. "He's incredibly powerful, and is the most likely to find a way to capture you. You'll most likely not encounter Shockwave in battle...he prefers to fight on the home front...

"The second that arrived is called Bludgeon. He's a ferocious warrior, and prefers to use physical combat...but that's his strong point. He's a master of metallikato."

"Metalli-what?" SAW cut in. Thundercracker thought for a moment.

"...I suppose it's what humans would call a 'martial art'," he replied. "It's an ancient art that focuses on physical and spiritual strength, and Bludgeon is a master at it. He's honed it to the point where he can use psychokinesis now...he is most likely the one who will try to overcome you. He can knock you out without harming you in at least ten different ways, so if you ever see him, I would remain close to Barricade, because he can counter-attack with his master grappling."

"How will I know it's him?" SAW asked.

"Oh, you'll know," Thundercracker said. "It's...in the way he moves. The way he holds himself...you'll notice it right away." He suddenly looked around again with, SAW noticed, an air of paranoia.

"...TC, how do you know this, if you left Starscream?" he asked. Thundercracker looked at him a little sadly.

"The two of them arrived right before...what happened to me," he replied. "I was going to tell you a few days ago, when we last met, but I didnt really get the chance to. But fortunately for me--and you--Starscream was too much of a rushed fool to disconnect the comm. link that all Seekers share when in the same basic squadron." He tapped his temple with his finger. "I heard every word of his conversation on how best to abduct you." He suddenly looked slightly sobered. "...I'm very sorry...about Frenzy."

SAW felt that same lurching sickness in his spark, but it seemed slightly quelled when Thundercracker put a hand on his shoulder. "...Thank you," SAW replied. Thundercracker's holo-form squeezed his holo-shoulder.

"It was a lucky thing that Barricade was there," he said. "...I hope you dont find it a horrid thought that I'd have done the same for you....but I had to get out of there....." He lowered his orange-red eyes. "It was my fault that you were attacked in the first place...he was coming for me, not you, that time."

"...Then why was Soundwave there, then?" SAW demanded. "And for that matter, what happened to him!?" Thundercracker squeezed SAW's shoulder again, sighing.

"...Soundwave was coming to warn me," he finally said. "He was already beginning to disfavor Starscream for harming one of his children, and now that...Frenzy is gone..." He paused. "...I dont think he's going to go back. Soundwave was loyal to Megatron, and that was partly because Megatron respected the relationship Soundwave had with his Cassettes, and in return for Soundwave's services, vowed never to harm any of them for any reason. Starscream respects no one or nothing but himself. As for where Soundwave is now...I dont know. All I do know is, he took what remained of Frenzy with him and disappeared."

SAW nodded and remained silent for a moment. "...TC..." he began softly, "...could you please...just join us?" Thundercracker shook his head immediately.

"I cant," he replied. "I already told you this, SAW; I cant join them. They wont accept me."

"That's what Barricade said!" SAW cut in desperately. "But now...now he's a full-fledged member, and _happy_! He has _allies_! He has _friends_, Thundercracker!" SAW's holo-hands held onto Thundercracker's holo's shoulders. "Please! At least...consider it for me, would you?"

Thundercracker stared down at SAW's golden-brown eyes with his orange-red ones for a moment, then lowered his head with a sigh that was heard in both the holo-form and the jet. "Alright," he finally replied. "I'll _think_ about it. That's all I can promise. Nothing more."

SAW heaved a sigh of some relief and smiled. "That's all I ask," he replied. "Thank you." Thundercracker nodded, then suddenly pulled SAW's holo-form to his tightly. SAW let out a surprised sound, but then relaxed in Thundercracker's hold.

"I worry about you, SAW," Thundercracker said softly, his voice taking on that low, almost seductive tone it usually slipped into whenever he and SAW were alone. It always made shudders go down SAW's form, and now was no exception. Thundercracker gently caressed SAW's back and neck, making soft sounds in his jet form that were unpronouncable in his humanoid, holo-form. "It causes me pain each time I think about Starscream getting his filthy hands on you..."

SAW practically purred, hoping his real form wasnt attracting attention in the base. He leaned into Thundercracker's holo-form, which leaned them both against his true jet form next to them. Those gentle touches and soft words were slowly settling him into a sense of pure loving security; and that was a feeling SAW had been yearning for for months...

"SAM!!!"

SAW jerked away from Thundercracker and whipped around to see Mikaela jogging up toward him, looking worried. She paused a few yards away and eyed Thundercracker warily.

"...Sam, who is this...?"

* * *

**Well, it's a bit of a cliffy, and I wont be able to update until at least June, so bear with me, I have more!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

SAW's memory banks drew a complete blank as he thought up _something_ to tell Mikaela. In his periph, he saw Thundercracker tense and go on the defensive. He quickly put a hand on Thundercracker's hologrammed chest to settle him down. "Err....." he began lamely, berating himself to think up something--_anything_--better to explain himself with. It was then that he also realized that both he and Thundercracker's hologram were standing right beneath an obviously misplaced F-15E Strike Eagle. Yet something _else_ to explain.

Primus damn it all.

"...Sam?" Mikaela's voice brought him out of his panicked thoughts. "...Sam, are you alright?" She stared at Thundercracker. "...He isnt bothering you, is he? I'll go get the others if he is--"

"No!" SAW replied a little too quickly. "Um...he's a friend," he finally said. "...He's my friend." Mikaela's gaze turned to the jet behind them, and a look of realization hit her.

"Oh," she said, nodding. "You're an Autobot, arent you?" SAW mentally winced when Thundercracker's true form cranked loudly.

"No, I am not," his hologram replied. "Far from it, actually."

"TC!" SAW hissed, glaring at him. "...Mikaela....this is Thundercracker.....he used to be a Decepticon...and Starscream's brother."

Mikaela's eyes widened. "You mean...?" she replied, pointing at him. "...Wait, I recognize you...! You're one of the ones who kidnapped Sam a few years ago! You're one of _them_!"

"Mikaela, please!" SAW pleaded, stepping between them. "Please, he's not here to hurt anyone! He's here to help me!"

"Sam, come on!" Mikaela said, holding out her hand, glaring at Thundercracker. "...We'll go get the others right now! You dont have to cover for him!"

"Mikaela, I'm not covering for anyone!" SAW shot back. "I'm being serious--!" He cut off, mentally screaming with frustration, when he saw the other holograms come out. "Son of a--!"

"Sam!" Bumblebee ran up, his bright blue eyes glaring at Thundercracker. "Get away from him, Thundercracker!" Just the sound of Thundercracker's name brought the unmistakable sound of transforming from the hideout, and just seconds later, Ironhide came barreling out, cannons at the ready, with Sunstreaker in tow.

Thundercracker immediately went on the defensive, his hologram vanishing and his jet form shifting into his true form. SAW couldnt handle anymore of this. He dispelled his hologram, transformed, and ran out after Sunstreaker, actually throwing out a sharp projective into Sunstreaker's leg to make him trip.

"**_STOP IT!!!_**" he screamed in Cybertronian. He winced when Ironhide took a shot at Thundercracker, who dodged just in time, but was singed on the shoulder nonetheless. "**Ironhide_, I said stop!_**" He instinctively whipped out his arm, shooting another projectile at Ironhide's cannons, which jammed them and prevented anymore shooting. SAW turned to Thundercracker, about to beg him to stay calm for just a little longer, but instead, Thundercracker gave him an almost sad look, transformed, and shot into the sky.

All was dead silent for the longest time. Finally, Optimus' hologram dispelled, and his true form came walking out of the base, his eyes pinned to SAW. The other Autobots shifted out of his way while SAW stood there, trying to process what the hell just happened. He came to a stop in front of SAW, staring down at him.

"...I think you need to start talking," he said, his voice thick with parental anger. SAW looked around at everyone, then looked back up at Optimus.

....Primus help him.

* * *

By the time SAW had finished explaining himself, he was aware of several things.

One, his projectile had cut a vital hydraulic in Sunstreaker's leg, and now Sunny needed at least three new parts to be functional again.

Two, it would take Ironhide about a week for his cannon to be functional again.

Three, Nathan was obviously not prepared for the sight of giant robots, and Mikaela had dragged him back to her house in a somewhat comatose state.

And four...SAW was sure he never wanted to see Optimus this angry ever again.

It actually took Perceptor to calm the Autobot leader down while Optimus grilled out a long and quite loud tirade at SAW, who was near tears the entire time, and feeling like a child again. Finally, after about two hours of explaining and shouting and angry looks from nearly everyone, SAW quickly excused himself to his room while Optimus was mid-sentence and locked the door shut.

If it wasnt for the fact that he didnt breathe, he was sure he'd be hyperventilating at this point; the intense pulsing of his spark wasnt a bad substitute, though. He ignored the loud knocking on his door and instead slumped down to the floor, his face in his knees. He felt so tired; so weak right now. He didint want anymore of this. It was too much.

Like many times before, he found himself wondering why. Why had the Allspark chosen him? Why was it putting him through all this hell? Why was his life quickly going down the drain instead of improving all the time?

SAW felt the sudden and almost irrepressible urge to get out. To leave the Autobot base and run somewhere. He just needed to leave. On impulse, he looked behind him to make sure the door was still locked, and quickly bolted for the emergency exit in the back of his room. It was actually a tight squeeze for him, but he managed to make it out the side of the mountain and scoot alongside it before mentally scanning the schematics of a new vehicle and transforming, zooming away as a black and silver 2009 Aston Martin DB9.

Just a few miles down the road, something stood on the side of a smaller mountain, their coloring blending into it almost perfectly, as they surveyed the transformation and travel of the Aston Martin. Their lime-green optics clicked once, getting a good view point.

* * *

**"Bludgeon, reporting in," **he said in a low, growling sound. **"I have the Breeder in my sights."**

**_"Excellent,"_** came an evil, higher-pitched sound. _**"Follow, and detain."**_

**"Yes, Lord Starscream."**

Just moments later, a very out-of-place Buffalo H MPV came tearing down the road, in a head-on course to the Aston Martin.

* * *

**It's a little short, but I'll have more very soon! And I'm aware that Brawl was an HPV in the first movie; I just think it's a cool vehicle...  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11

* * *

**

It was about five hours down the road that SAW finally slowed down from his escape. He was currently in The Middle of Nowhere, USA, and had no Autobots or Decepticons on his scans. He came to a stop next to a range of small mountains and transformed, noticing that his form was slightly more bulky, and he was just a bit taller. His armor had more accents to it, and his internal scans revealed that he now possessed a small firearm located on his left arm and a large concealed blade on his right.

All that aside, he sat down on a large rock and heaved a heavy sigh. He hated just running like that; but he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and he just needed to get out. No Transformers, no humans, no nothing. He just needed to be alone. He leaned back against the mountainside and shut off his optics, keeping his audio receptors on full blast, just in case. But all he could hear was the wind and the random birds that would fly past, chirp, and fly away. He found it very peaceful and relaxing.

He was jerked out of his bliss suddenly when the sound of a pebble plinking down the mountain reached his hearing. He sat up and looked around, his spark pulsing heavily. But he saw nothing. That didnt quell his anxiousness, so he moved away from the mountain and kept looking around, especially above. But still, he saw nothing.

Immediately, he wished he'd just stayed at the base and took whatever punishment Optimus would've given him. His spark was pulsing a mile a minute, and he wanted nothing more than to get out right now. He turned and began to transform when he heard a low Cybertronian growl and felt something behind him fall to the ground. He whipped around and saw a dense outline of something _big_--bigger than Optimus, even--before a form flickered into view. It was a cloaking device, and it had snuck right up on him.

SAW swore loudly and backed up, knowing that this was definitely not friendly. It stood to it's full height, towering over SAW.

**"Breeder,"** it growled in a low voice, one that made SAW shudder. **"You come with me now, or I will take you by force. I will not harm you. I only wish to deliver you peacefully to Lord Starscream."**

SAW backed up further from the Decepticon, now knowing that this had to be the Bludgeon that Thundercracker had mentioned. _Fuck. _He was so screwed. He absently wondered why the Allspark chose him when he was such a fucking idiot...

"...Any chance...any at all...that you can just let me go and not tell Starscream?" he asked lamely, mentally slapping himself when Bludgeon blinked and emitted a soft growling sound. "Shit...just leave me alone!"

**"This I cannot do,"** Bludgeon replied. **"I have orders, and I must comply. Last chance; come with me now, or I will take you by force."**

SAW knew that there was no way in human or robot Hell that he was coming willingly. He refused to be subjected to Starscream's sick whims again. "No!" he shouted at Bludeon. "Tell Starscream he can shove it up his exhausts because I'm not being raped by that asshole again!"

Bludgeon only stared at him, and SAW had the freakiest sensation of being suffocated from the inside out. He made a sound of discomfort and backed away from Bludgeon...only to find he could move. '_Psychokinesis...!'_ he thought. Thundercracker said that Bludgeon could use psychokinesis! Shit! "Stop....stop it...!" SAW gasped, feeling as though his internal systems were being slowly crushed. He fell to his knees. "...Please...!"

**"Then come with me willingly."**

"N...no...!" SAW clutched his chest, his mainframe going a little fuzzy. "...Please...you...you dont know...what he does to me...! Please..." He felt a sharp twitch in his chest. "...Please, let me go...!"

**"I cannot," **Bludgeon replied monotonously. **"I must comply with my orders." **He stepped forward and picked SAW up effortlessly and held him in his arms. **"I did not want to hurt you, but if you cannot come with me willingly, then I must take you by force." **He paused. **"Do not struggle. You are only making your systems overload worse."**

Was...was Bludgeon actually telling him how to get out of this psycic hold himself? SAW decided that trying it out was better than internally suffocating, so he relaxed his body and was shocked when he felt the crushing sensation reduce very significantly. Bludgeon carried SAW for about a mile before stopping.

**"Skywarp will be here to take you to Lord Starscream soon," **he said non-threateningly. **"Do not struggle. He is not as kind as I am."**

...Oh, he hit that fact on the nail, SAW thought. He knew that Skywarp couldnt really give two slags about him; at least Bludgeon was polite about it. He just let out a defeated sigh and laid quietly in Bludgeon's arms for a little while, then he heard a _'fzzzsh' _sound and Skywarp seemed to appear out of nowhere. SAW tensed up when he saw him, and felt his insides crush slightly.

**"Good work, Bludgeon," **Skywarp said, stepping forward. He looked at SAW. **"...You've changed a little since I last laid optics on you. More sturdy. Good. You'll need it."**

**"F...fuck you...!"** SAW shot back weakly.

**"No time soon, I can guarantee it," **Skywarp snidely replied. **"I'll take it from here, Bludgeon."** He held his arms out for SAW, then was suddenly thrown about two hundred feet from a hefty drop-kick to the head by Barricade.

"BARRICADE!" SAW shouted, squirming in Bludgeon's hold. Bludgeon only made SAW's internals clench painfully. Barricade seemed to notice.

**"Let my spark mate go, Bludgeon, or I swear to Primus I will kill you."**

Bludgeon only stared at Barricade, who only stared back with just as much intensity.

**"...You have been training," **Bludgeon said matter-of-factly. **"...You are no longer at war with yourself. If you were not my enemy, Barricade, I would congratulate you."**

**"Spare me," **Barricade growled back. **"You are no longer my master. I dont need your approval. I only need my spark mate. Return him. NOW."**

SAW wondered what the hell was going on for just a moment; then he remembered that Thundercracker had told him that Barricade was the best match against Bludgeon. That could only mean that Barricade had trained under Bludgeon. Fan-fucking-tastic.

**"I cannot," **Bludgeon replied. **"I am under orders from Lord Starscream."**

**"Lord Starscream..." **Barricade spat. **"He is not Megatron, Bludgeon! He's nothing more than a sniveling sparkling doing a grown mech's job! You dont have to comply with his orders! No one but himself appointed him as the leader of the Decepticons! He's losing more followers than he gains! Dont you get it?"**

**"Be that as it may, Barricade," **Bludgeon replied, **"I am a Decepticon. I need a leader, or I have no purpose. Lord Starscream is the only leader we have. So I must follow him."**

**"That is foolish logic!" **Barricade's voice sounded desperate by now. **"Bludgeon...SAW is my spark mate. We need each other! Starscream will only hurt him! He will misuse the Allspark within him! All that will happen is that he will horde SAW all to himself and only create his offspring! That's it! I know that you dont want the Allspark used that way! Please, Bludgeon!"**

Bludgeon only stared at Barricade. Then, faster than either Barricade or SAW could see, jumped up, whipped around, then slammed his foot into the side of Barricade's head before landing gracefully back on the ground. Barricade wasnt thrown far, but he was knocked effectively out on the ground.

"BARRICADE!!!" He thrashed even harder in Bludgeon's arms, ignoring the pain in his internals. "BARRICADE!!! NO!!! PLEASE, GET UP!!! PLEASE!!!"

**"I did not wish to hurt him,"** Barricade said solemnly, turning to Skywarp, who was just now coming back online. **"He will be fine. He is only stunned."**

"FUCK YOU!" SAW screamed. "LET ME GO, YOU ASSHOLE!!! LET ME GO!!!" He wasnt really aware that as he was thrashing, the hold on his internals was slipping as his tirade grew more violent. "I WONT GO BACK!!! I WONT!!! GO!!! BACK!!!" Finally, without even realize what he was doing, he activated a small cannon on his arm and shoved it into Bludgeon's face and let it fire.

Bludgeon let SAW go, and the smaller mech dropped to the ground and immediately darted away.

**"GET HIM, YOU FOOL!"** he heard Skywarp scream at Bludgeon. SAW took a quick backwards look at Barricade, feeling his spark clench. But somewhere in the spark bond, he could hear Barricade yell at him to get away; that he would be fine. So he did. He ran. He didnt even think that he could run this fast. He could hear Bludgeon coming up close behind him, but he just kept running.

**"Fuck fuck FUCK!"** SAW screamed to himself. He fought to form a comm link with someone from the Autobot base. **_"Please...PLEASE, SOMEONE PICK UP ON THIS!!!"_**

**_"...SAW?"_**

**_"SUNNY!" _**SAW thanked Primus Almighty. _**"SHIT!!! SUNSTREAKER!!! HELP!!!"**_

_**"What's going on!?"**_

_**"I'M BEING CHASED BY A FUCKING PSYCHO WHO'S A MASTER OF METALLIKATO!!!"**_

_**"...Bludgeon...? What's he doing he--HOLY SHIT!!! WHERE ARE YOU!?"**_

_**"THE FUCK IF I KNOW!!!" **_SAW was on the verge of a mainframe meltdown. _**"WHERE IS EVERYONE!?"**_

_**"They're out looking for YOU, you little shit!"**_

_**"SHOVE IT, SUNNY! SKYWARP'S HERE, TOO!!!"**_

_**"CAN YOU AT LEAST GIVE ME SOME CLUE TO WHERE YOU ARE!?"**_

SAW thought for a quick moment, still not bothering to look behind him, but knowing that he was still ahead of Bludgeon by a safe distance. _**"SUNNY, CAN YOU DETECT HIGH FREQUENCY!?"**_

_**"Yeah, I can, why?"**_

SAW didnt bother answering. Instead, as he was running, he took in a needless breath and let out a mainframe-freezing shriek. Behind him, he heard Bludgeon cease running from him and let out a pained groan from the ultra-high frequency scrambling his systems. SAW didnt slow down in the least as he kept screaming.

_**"SAW!"**_ Sunstreaker's voice cut in. _**"Ironhide's picked up on your position! Run due north, and you cant miss him!"**_

_**"Thank you, Sunny!"**_

_**"DONT CALL ME SUN--!"**_

SAW cut off the comm link and kept running, feeling the fatigue begin to overcome him. He reached the smaller mountains and took just a quick moment to cool his overloading systems down. "Fuck...ing....Hell....!" he gasped, putting a hand over his pulsating spark. He took just a few moments more before turning to the north--only to be cut off by Skywarp appearing right in front of him, and holding an unconscious Barricade in one hand by the back of the neck.

"Barricade!" SAW cried, seeing how in bad shape his mate was. Skywarp hissed angrily at SAW.

"I'm going...to make this VERY simple, Breeder," he ground out through his metal teeth. He activated his cannon on his other arm and pointed it right at Barricade's spark. "Come with me, or this piece of slag dies. It doesnt matter either way, because if I do kill him, then I'll have you at Lord Starscream's side before you succumb to sparkmate-death meltdown." The cannon revved up. "Choose. Now."

SAW felt his systems freeze over as he looked at Barricade. He clenched his fists tightly, feeling tears come to his optics. "...I'll go," he said softly. "Just....just dont hurt him...please....I've lost too much already..."

Skywarp put his cannon away and let go of Barricade. "Smart boy," he muttered, reaching for SAW. "Perhaps I will consider rearing a sparkling with you..." SAW clenched his optics shut, not wanting to think about anything that was to come, but then he heard a sharp '_thwang_' of metal hitting metal, and the sound of cannon-fire, and before he could even open his eyes, he was jerked back into the arms of someone else.

"WHAT THE--!?" He thrashed around, trying to get away.

"Calm down! We're friends!"

SAW froze at the sound of the voice. It...it sounded female...! He turned his head and saw a dark blue mech staring down at him with bright blue optics...or rather...a femme... "...Who...who are you...?" he asked. The femme pulled him further away from the fight that was going on, not answering right away.

"Introductions can wait!" she said, activating a cannon that rivaled Ironhide's own cannon's size and fired at Bludgeon. "Until then, stick next to me! You'll be safe!" SAW didnt need telling twice. Not that he had a choice, really; the femme's free arm was tightly around him, and she was a lot bigger than he was; almost Ironhide's size.

He looked behind them and saw two other mechs...or rather, also femmes...fighting with Skywarp. One of them was very small, around the same size Frenzy once was before he died, and she was a vibrant violet color. The other was around his own size, and a hot pink color that complemented the violet femme's girlish color. The small violet femme had Skywarp in a headlock and was holding him still as the pink femme violently assaulted his person.

Finally, Skywarp managed to throw the violet one off of him, then shot into the sky and vanished. Bludgeon seemed to take the note and he transformed and drove off in a blaze of dust. The large blue femme retracted her cannon and let go of SAW.

"Well, that was fun!" the pink femme chirped, sounding quite girly. The small violet femme groaned.

"Easy for YOU to say," she griped, rubbing her head. "The son of a glitch _dented_ me!"

"The important thing is, you're safe," the large blue femme said to SAW, smiling at him. SAW looked at all three of them.

"...Who are you?" he asked. The blue femme opened her mouth to answer, but she was cut off by the unmistakable whirring of Ironhide's cannons aimed at the back of her head.

"Step away from him!" he growled. SAW was about to tell Ironhide that these three just saved him, but he was cut off when he actually saw the femme _smile_!

"Still as trigger-happy as ever I see..." she said, then turned around to face Ironhide, whose optics widened and his cannon lowered.

"...It cant be...!" he muttered, stepping closer.

"Long time, no see, Ironhide, love."

"...Chromia...!?"

* * *

***grovels pathetically at my readers' feet* Please accept this chapter as an apology for my fucking writer's block!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12

* * *

**

SAW sat by the metal table that held Barricade, and was holding his hand. The Mustang was still out like a light, and it had been a day since SAW was almost captured (again) and his spark mate had tried to rescue him. He knew that he was in big, deep trouble, but for the moment, everyone was letting him be. At least, until Barricade woke up. Then the shit was going to hit the fan, and SAW was sure he'd be put in the brig for at least a month.

He sighed and folded his arms on the table, resting his head on them. He really didnt know what he would've done if Chromia, Arcee, and Elita-One hadnt shown up when they did... He shuddered. He'd be in Starscream's grasp right now, probably getting raped and impregnated, that's what would be happening! He had was eternally grateful to them, and told them so.

After Ironhide had gotten over his shock of seeing Chromia (and SAW had gotten over the shock of seeing Ironhide so...well, shocked...), he had transformed and told the femmes to put Barricade on him the best they could. He had also directed a personal warning to SAW, promising harsh words and punishments to come once they were situated at home.

But while they drove, Chromia, whose alt. form was a dark blue 2008 Dodge Ram, had told him that she would calm Ironhide down. Arcee--the small purple MV Agusta F4--gave him words of condolences. The pink Corvette Stingray--Elita-One--gave him the most comfort, for some reason. She had this motherly aspect to her that SAW found very calming, something like how Optimus had a certain fatherly aspect...he shuddered, thinking that if Optimus was angry at him before all this...

Everyone was waiting for them when they arrived back. Ratchet immediately took Barricade to the med lab, demanding the twins' help. Ironhide kept staring at Chromia, who smiled back, as though waiting for Ironhide to say something. SAW just wanted this whole day to be over with, really, and didnt really pay much attention.

And then Optimus came out. SAW felt his systems freeze over as the Autobot leader stalked right over to him and loomed over him almost menacingly, arms crossed, faceplate retracted, and optics flaring. Everyone else went dead quiet.

"...I am...very....very upset with you, SAW," he said slowly, enunciating every syllable. "...You caused a panic in the base...nearly gave Barricade a spark attack....nearly gave ME a spark attack..." He shook his head, his words stiff. "...Honeydew is frantic. Bumblebee is on the verge of a mainframe meltdown. Ratchet has gone through unspeakable scenarios regarding your well-being......you had me so worried, I couldnt think of anything but you and where you were, who might have gotten their hands on you...!" He paused, and SAW could hear angry whirring in Optimus' throat. "...Do you understand what I am trying to tell you, SAW?"

SAW nodded, tears running down his face. "...Y...yes, Sir..." he stuttered. "I'm...I'm s...sorry..."

"Dont apologize to just me, SAW," Optimus replied. "You owe everyone here an apology for causing them panic and trouble. Rest assured, SAW...you will be punished." SAW flinched. "You will be confined to your quarters for three months. No company. No Internet. No nothing. When your confinement is over, you will be doing hard manual labor, and assistant work for Ratchet. After that, you will be on probation for a year."

SAW's tears continued to run, but he nodded. "Yes...yes, Sir," he said. He wiped at his eyes, cursing the fact that he was crying like a child over this. He froze when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up to see Elita-One standing next to him, staring at Optimus.

"...You're being too hard on him, Optimus," she said firmly. Optimus' eyes narrowed.

"No offense," he replied testily, "but you have no say-so in how I deal with my comrades."

SAW felt a twinge of hurt in his chest. He had been demoted from son to comrade. Great...he really did fuck up bad... Elita-One's hand tightened on his shoulder.

"...Has war hardened you so, Pax?" she said softly. "He's just a child...barely out of his sparkling years..."

"...What did you call me?" Optimus said, his eyes widening a little. SAW was also confused. Who was 'Pax'? Elita-One gently shook her head.

"...You dont recognize me, do you?" she asked. "...I didnt expect you to...I upgraded since last we met, Orion Pax...you're so different..." Her voice sounded so sad. "...Nothing like the youngling working the docks I met..."

SAW was surprised when Optimus' legs seemed to give out, and he supported himself up on the wall with one hand. "...A...Ariel...!?" he murmured. Elita-One shook her head.

"...Not anymore, Prime," she replied. "I go by Elita-One now. Just as you go by Optimus Prime. It would seem that we have both changed..."

Optimus gaped at her for a moment before flickering his gaze up to the other two femmes. "And...they...?"

"Arcee, Optimus Prime, Sir!" the violet motorcycle said, bowing a little.

"Chromia, at your service!" It was now that SAW heard that Chromia had something of a Southern accent...Texan, probably. "We arrived five years ago, in case you were wondering."

"Five...FIVE YEARS!?" Ironhide shouted, staring at Chromia. "You've...you've been here for FIVE years, and you didnt bother to come seek us out!?" Chromia just gave Ironhide a smile and touched his face with her hand.

"Dont get your wires in a bunch, Sweetie," she replied, that Texan accent coming out. "We're big tough girls...we can wax our own paint jobs and everything..."

"Besides," Arcee cut in, "no Decepticons in the Southern US, you'll be glad to know."

"But there are some former Decepticons and Autobots here," Elita-One added, looking back at Optimus. "They've been here for awhile, and have no interest in the war anymore. They're content with their lives as they are. Remember Hoist?" She shook her head. "Neutral. Working for a towing company in Louisiana now."

"Hoist?" Ironhide said. "But...but he's one of our best maintenance workers!"

"He said that he'd had enough of the fighting," Arcee replied. "His human charge is a junkyard keeper who has Hoist help him with repairing and restoring cars. He's happy with his life. Happier than I've seen him in millennia..."

SAW listened to all of this in silence. He half-debated sneaking off to his room, but he had a bigger sense of self-preservation than that, and stayed put.

Optimus sighed and shook his head at all this new information. "...This...this is all very sudden," he said, looking over at SAW, who flinched as soon as he made optic contact and looked away. "...But that still doesnt draw away from the situation at hand. SAW is extremely valuable to us, and the Decepticons are always watching for a way to capture him. And then he runs away and almost gets captured again! If you hadnt been there...Primus only knows what would have happened!"

"Well, why did he run away in the first place?" Elita-One demanded. "From the way he's acting, you must have frightened him! That is not like you, Prime!"

"He caused a Pit of damage and withheld information from us!" Optimus shot back.

"A Pit of damage..." Elita-One scoffed. "Look at the youngling, Optimus! Does he look like he would purposely cause trouble!? Did you even ask him what was going on?"

"Of course I did!"

"But did you listen?"

Silence.

"...Optimus..." Elita-One reached over to touch Optimus' face. "...I didnt want to fight with you after seeing you again after all these thousands of years...I've missed you more than you can even imagine...I've prayed to Primus to see you again, and here my prayers are answered. But I cant stand to see you so angry for a matter that doesnt require your anger."

"...You dont understand, Ari--Elita-One," he replied. "...SAW is the Allspark."

Silence once more.

"...The...the Allspark?" she murmured, her optics shifting to SAW, who really wanted nothing more than to disappear. "...He has the Allspark within him?"

"Yes," Optimus replied, holding Elita-One's hand in his own. "...That is why he is so valuable to us. That is why I worried so much for him."

"...I...I dont know what to say..."

Neither did SAW. For some reason, he felt...angry. He felt angry that Optimus didnt seem to think of him as a son...but rather, think of him as an artifact. A...a _thing_... Like being the Allspark was all he was worth a damn for in this whole situation. He wasnt just the Allspark! He was SAW! He was Sam. He was a person, with emotions and needs that werent being met nowadays, and it was driving him fucking insane!

"...That still doesnt change the fact that you are being far too harsh to him!" Elita-One continued. "The youngling ran away because you didnt listen to him, and you frightened him away! Yes, some form of strictness should be installed, but nothing as harsh as you are condemning him to!"

....SAW suddenly felt a rush of love and gratitude toward this mother-figure. She could tell what was wrong with him for some reason, and it was elating to know that someone besides his own spark mate did. He blinked when Elita-One knelt down in front of him, her blue optics soft and warm.

"...SAW," she said softly, her thin hand brushing his tears from his face. "...Why was Optimus mad at you the last time?"

SAW didnt dare look at Optimus. "...B...because...I...I caused an uproar without meaning to..." he replied softly. "...I...I was just talking to...to Thundercracker..." He almost winced when he heard Ironhide growl at the Seeker's name. "...He's...not a Decepticon anymore..." He looked down at his hands. "...Starscream...did something terrible to him...he left the Decepticons, and...he was trying to warn me about Bludgeon and Shockwave, two new Decepticons that landed here recently..." He took a shuddery breath.

"...I...I've been trying to get him to come to our side," he continued. "...He refused the first time...but last time...before all this...this Hell broke loose...he told me that he'd think about it..."

"That's bullshit," SAW heard Sunstreaker growl, having come out of Ratchet's med bay to listen. SAW's eyes flashed and he shot up.

"You know what, fuck you, Sunstreaker!" he shouted. "You dont know anything! You dont know what..." He clenched his fists. "...You dont know what Starscream did to his own brother! You dont know how badly Thundercracker was hurting! You dont know anything, so just keep your mouth shut before I rip your glossa out and shove it up your tailpipe!"

"SAW!" Optimus reprimanded. "That's enough!"

"No, it's NOT!" SAW shouted, putting his hands over his face. "...Thundercracker pledged his loyalty to me...he...he has feelings for me..." He heard sounds of disbelieving shock around him. "...I told him...that if he joined us, then he would be able to help me...and you would be able to help him! But now he can just forget about that! You guys ran him off, right after he told me that he would ask you for his services for MY sake!"

He felt Elita-One pull him to her in a comforting embrace, but he still couldnt feel any better. "...Starscream...he...he raped Thundercracker...!" he stuttered out, starting to tremble. "...He...he was so scared when I saw him...he felt scared and betrayed, and so alone because he had nowhere else to go but to me, because I understood what was going on!"

"SAW..." Optimus said softly, reaching out to touch SAW's shoulder. SAW jerked away.

"NO!" he shouted, glaring at Optimus. "...I'll serve my time. I'll do the labor. I'll do whatever you want me to do, I dont care anymore!" He turned to the med bay. "It's not like YOU care, anyway!" He shoved Sunstreaker out of the way and ignored Ratchet's angry protests, and sat down next to Barricade and held his hand tightly, starting to cry from rage again.

And that is how he stayed, without moving or recharge, since yesterday. Ratchet had ceased his tirade after his harsh threats and a thrown piece of equipment didnt deter SAW, so he had just let the Allspark-carrier be. It was just as SAW needed it, because right now, his emotions were out of whack. It wasnt like he felt guilty enough for Barricade getting hurt, or Bumblebee having to be put into stasis because he was freaking out too badly...or Honeydew for worrying so. He felt so bad for his actions, and as he told Optimus, he would do the time...but it was all the yelling and anger he couldnt handle.

He reached over and brushed the tips of his fingers over Barricade's arm. It would be lonely, not having Barricade's company for three months...he so enjoyed Barricade's presence, and not just as a spark mate. He enjoyed Barricade's presence in the same way he enjoyed Thundercracker's presence...because Barricade would show him unconditional affection, and just make him feel good...like all the bad was out of the world and only loving touches and sweet words existed. He mentally snorted at how sappy that sounded. But it was true.

Barricade's arm twitched and he made a soft sound, his optics coming back online. He looked over at SAW and raised his hand to caress the side of SAW's face. "...You're okay..." he murmured. SAW nodded.

"You are too," he replied softly. "Barricade...I'm so sorry...you were hurt because of me...it was all my fault..."

"No..." Barricade said, stroking SAW's face. "...You did exactly as I would've done...you were under a lot of stress...and so you took some time for yourself..." He sighed. "...I'm just so glad that you are my spark mate...I was able to track you down as soon as I realized you were gone. I was just going to catch up to you...talk to you...then we would slip back in the base." He paused. "...SAW...please dont blame yourself for this."

"It's hard not to, 'Cade," SAW replied. "...It's...I'm going to be put on lockdown for three months...I messed up, Barricade...I messed up bad." He felt a few tears run down his face. "...Because of me, you got hurt, Bumblebee almost had a spark attack, and Honeydew is so upset, she cant really function right..." He wiped at his optics. "...I'm a terrible friend, a terrible mate...a terrible father...!"

"SAW, never say that again!" Barricade said, sitting up, ignoring the slight vertigo from the action. "...You are an amazing friend, a perfect spark mate, and a marvelous father! None of us could ask for better!" He reached over and picked up SAW to hold in his lap. "...I will speak to Optimus. Even if it means being confined with you for those three months, I refuse to be separated from you for that long."

SAW made a soft keening sound and leaned into Barricade, feeling very exhausted all of a sudden.

* * *

"Barricade's up," Sunstreaker deftly announced after sticking his head in the med bay for a quick peek. Ratchet sighed.

"Finally," he said. "I'm going to need his help if you want your leg to be in proper working order again..."

"You should make that little glitch polish my armor for damaging me so badly!" Sunstreaker put out testily. "I cant even go back to Alicia's place until I'm fixed! This sucks coolant, man!"

"No one will have SAW do any such thing!" Arcee shot at Sunstreaker. "You're too busy kissing your own aft in your rear view mirror to see that something was really wrong with the kid! He didnt mean to hurt you that bad! And quite frankly, a busted hydraulic is no big deal, it'll be fixed in just a few hours with the right part, so get a grip, you infant!"

"Enough arguing!" Elita-One cut in, prompting silence from both of them. She looked to Ratchet. "I spoke with Optimus," she said. "He said that he wants to see SAW as soon as possible." Ratchet nodded, and went into the med bay, where Barricade was coddling SAW like a child as SAW held onto Barricade like a life support.

"...SAW," Ratchet said, getting their attentions. SAW looked up. "Optimus wants a word with you." SAW sighed, but nodded and slid off the table. Barricade followed suit. "With just SAW, Barricade."

"I dont care," Barricade growled back. "You think I couldnt feel how bad SAW was feeling while I was out cold?" He let out his patented 'Decepticon' growl at Ratchet. "Dont try to stop me." He put a hand on SAW's shoulder and they walked to Optimus' 'office space' together, and he emitted calming waves to SAW, who returned it with a grateful look.

They came to the room, where Elita-One was waiting by the doorway. "He's just inside, SAW," she said in a very mother-like voice. "Barricade, wait with me, alright? It'll be okay."

Barricade gave her a curt nod, then gave SAW a soft look and SAW walked into the room, where Optimus was sitting in his makeshift chair. His blue optics shifted up to SAW, who was nervously wringing his hands. "...Come in, SAW," Optimus said. SAW nodded and walked up to Optimus, who motioned for SAW to sit down. "...You havent been recharging, have you?"

SAW shook his head. He hadnt had a decent recharge at all, even before Perceptor had called him out on it. "No, Sir," he replied dully.

"How long have you been without adequate recharge?"

"...A little over a year."

"....Why didnt you tell anyone?" Optimus asked.

"...I never really felt the need to," SAW replied. "...I found that I can function on less than an hour of sleep..."

"Physically, you can," Optimus said, shaking his head. "But mentally, you'll suffer. Shorter tempers, impaired judgment, frequent uncharacteristic thoughts and behaviors, overreaction to certain situations..." He sighed. "All of these are symptoms of inadequate recharge, and not even Ratchet caught it. Even I should have seen it, but I didnt."

"...Perceptor...?"

Optimus nodded. "He's seen how worried we are, and he told me about your inability to have a full recharge. He hopes that you'll forgive him for divulging that information, but at the moment, I see that it was the right thing for him to do." He paused. "...I also see that I too was overreacting. Your lack of a proper recharge has made your behavior a little rocky, and my parental feelings for you have made my reactions and decision-makings too overreactive and personal. And for that, I apologize."

SAW blinked. Oh. Oh, damn, he realized. That was why Optimus had blown the gasket so harshly with him. He really _did_ think if himself as his father... He lowered his head in somewhat shame. Optimus was so angry at him because he cared so much for him, and didnt want to see him get hurt again.

"Please..." SAW replied, making Optimus look up. "...Dont be sorry..." He felt tears well up again. "...The last thing I need is for you to not be my father anymore...! I'm sorry for not being a good son! Just...please...dont...!"

Optimus stood up and walked over to SAW, kneeling down and holding SAW's shoulders. "SAW, no matter what you do, I will always think of you as my son!" he said, looking SAW right in the optic. "If I didnt care about you so much, I wouldnt react as I do! You worry me in a deeper way none of the others can, and while I simply worry for their safety when they're not in my sight, I worry about your very existence..." He gently pulled SAW forward in a gentle hug. "...I told you that I would be your father. I took up that mantle, and I stick by it. I just...dont know how to be a father to your standards..."

SAW hugged Optimus back, squeezing slightly. "...You do just fine," he replied. Optimus pulled back and smiled at SAW.

"I'm going to have Perceptor have a better look at your mental well-being, to see why you cant recharge properly," he said, standing up. "As soon as I have you in full proper running order, we'll decide what to do from there." SAW nodded and also stood up.

"Alright," he replied, turning towards the door. "...When do I start my three month lockdown?" Optimus shook his head.

"Forget about it," he replied. "I will increase your security and I must insist that you have a chaperon on you at all times...but other than that, just forget earlier, alright?"

SAW blinked, then smiled back, nodding. "Yes, Sir," he said, then walked out the door to join a worried Barricade as Elita-One stepped into the office.

"...You did well," she said, smiling at Optimus. Optimus smiled back.

"...Thanks," he replied motioning for her to come closer. "...You always did have a perfect voice of reason." Elita-One laughed and sat down on Optimus' lap.

"Where do you think you learned it from?" she teased, earning her a gentle shove. "...Optimus, you do make a wonderful father," she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. Optimus' arm curled around her waist.

"...And you'd make a wonderful mother," he replied. Elita-One shifted her gaze over to SAW, who was now hugging his daughter and comforting a worried Bumblebee.

"...I'd like to think so," she replied.

* * *

***sigh***


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13

* * *

**

It took about three days for both Bumblebee and Honeydew to be fully functional again, physically and mentally. By that time, SAW had apologized to everyone, helped Ratchet and Barricade fix Sunstreaker, and didnt say a word in his defense when Bumblebee gave him a tirade of his own, mostly about--and emphasizing upon--how how SAW nearly gave him a spark attack to go along with his mainframe meltdown, and that the next time SAW was going to run away, he might as well take a plasma cannon to Bumblebee's spark to save him the trouble of deactivating him so early in life from worry.

And after that tirade, Bumblebee hugged SAW and didnt let go for almost two hours. Honeydew had joined them about halfway through that time, and hugged them both.

SAW didnt even go outside during this time; part from worry and another from not wanting anyone else to worry. He was far from lonely, though. Arcee stuck by his side almost constantly, and SAW found that, despite her small size, she commanded a lot of respect from the taller mechs, especially Sunstreaker, who actually cowered at her anger, despite the fact she barely came up to his thigh. She liked to talk and tell stories, and SAW found that she had quite the sense of humor.

Chromia had been taken to be introduced to the Lennoxes by Ironhide, and from what he head later, Chromia had made quite the impression because she told Optimus that she was staying with the family permanently. That was SAW's first impression, but he found out later from Elita-One that that was not the full case.

"I dont suppose you've noticed how close Chromia and Ironhide are," she asked SAW, who was looking at the said femme and mech conversing outside with the Lennoxes. SAW blinked and looked at Elita-One.

"...I have," he replied. "...They seem...really close...almost like Will and Sarah."

"That's because they are," Elita-One replied. She smiled. "...Ironhide and Chromia are bonded spark mates."

SAW's optics widened. "...No kidding!" he said, looking back at the couple. "...I'd...I'd never've guessed..."

"No one would have," she replied. "Even Optimus was shocked when he found out. No one would have guessed that the old trigger-happy Ironhide would've found a femme that was his mate in every way. Chromia is brave, brash, impatient, trigger-happy, and has a low tolerance for stupidity." She grinned. "Sound familiar?"

"Right," SAW said, smiling. "...It must've really hurt...being so far away from each other for so long..." Elita-One put her hand on his shoulder.

"It was," she said softly. "Chromia, Arcee, and I are three of only ten femmes left in existence now. If we were to choose bonded spark mates, we would have to choose carefully, because as you know...if one dies, so does the other. Chromia is the toughest of us all, and so she bonded with a just-as-tough mech, making it just that more difficult to lose both. She did that without telling anyone, and even though we were upset, as soon as we heard it was Ironhide, the legendary warrior..." She laughed. "...None of us questioned her decision again." She sighed. "...But when they were separated by the war..."

SAW nodded. "...I see," he said. He watched on as the normally distant Ironhide put his arm around Chromia, who gave him a quick, loving look. "...They make a perfect couple," he said, remembering how gung-ho Chromia had been about rescuing him.

"They do," Elita-One replied, her voice and eyes soft. SAW felt her hand clench a little on his shoulder.

"...Elita?" He almost never used the 'One' part, which was just fine with her. She turned and nodded. "...Do you have anyone special?"

Elita-One blinked, and SAW swore her temperature increased a little. "...I do," she replied a little shyly. Her optics flickered over to Optimus for just a moment, and SAW smiled.

"...How long have you known each other?" he asked. Elita-One sighed.

"Since we were both younglings," she replied. "Before he was a Prime...before the big war..." She smiled fondly. "He was just a boy...not much older than Bumblebee, actually...he worked at the energon docks as Orion Pax." She paused. "...I was Ariel back then...and I suppose...you could say I was his girlfriend."

SAW blinked, but kept quiet as she continued. "...But that was about nine million years ago..." she said softly. "...When Megatron attacked the dock warehouse were Pax worked and I was visiting...we were both injured almost fatally...and we were separated. Pax became Optimus Prime, and I became Elita-One...we had heard that the other was alive...but this was the first time I actually met up with Optimus since that horrible day."

"...I'm so sorry," SAW said, feeling his spark clench in his chest. Elita-One smiled and gave him a small kiss on top of his head.

"You're such a sweet boy," she said, smiling. "...You remind me so much of Pax, it's not even funny. But that just makes you all the more special, because if you're just like Pax..." She hugged him gently. "...Then you're destined for greatness."

SAW was still in her arms for a moment, then he hugged her back, absently remembering this kind of hold as the comforting one his human mother used to give him. Without warning, he began to cry, feeling that pain well up inside of him, reminding him of what he had lost and was missing. Despite everything, he had ceased aging the moment the Allspark had entered his body, and above and beyond everything else, he was still pretty much just a kid.

And Elita-One knew this. She didnt even have to ask to know that he was just a kid who had suddenly been forced to shoulder all of this responsibility; as a protector, as a soldier, as the bearer to the new breed of Cybertronians. She knew that he was often only one mishap in his life away from having a total meltdown, and couldnt handle all of this. All this she knew, without even being told.

Like a mother.

Elita-One didnt even ask him what was wrong. She already knew, and she gently held him in her arms and murmured out a soft song in Cybertronian that was meant for upset sparklings. SAW calmed down after a few moments and let out a more mature version of those content click-sighs that Honeydew would make. Elita-One kissed the top of his head again.

"...Feel better?" she asked softly. SAW nodded. "Good." She petted his back. "SAW, I know that you'll do the right thing. You've been blessed with the gift of life; something no other Cybertronian has ever had. All you need to do is find what method is right for you. You have a long time to decide, so no matter what...dont rush things."

SAW nodded again. "I wont," he said. "...Thank you." Elita-One smiled and petted his head again before sitting SAW up.

"You're welcome," she said, turning to look at Optimus again. The mech was currently scolding Bumblebee and Sunstreaker about roughhousing in the base and at Sideswipe for not being responsible and stopping them. "...You're lucky to have such good support here, SAW. And me and my sisters will help you, too." She gave SAW's shoulder another squeeze and walked over to help Optimus with the scolding.

"Hey, you okay?"

SAW turned to see Barricade looking worriedly at him. SAW smiled and nodded, then hugged Barricade. "...What was that for?" he asked, amused. SAW squeezed him.

"...Nothing," he replied. "...I'm just hugging you." Barricade blinked, but put his arms around SAW regardless.

"...Remind me to do this for no reason more often," he muttered to himself, making SAW smile.

* * *

About a week later, everyone was surprised when Mikaela unexpectedly showed up. SAW was playing an online game with Sunstreaker--who was under orders from 'Hatchet' to remain in the base for some follow-up work, much to the yellow Lamborghini's horror--and Bumblebee, who was kicking all of their afts. Barricade was aiding Ratchet with Perceptor, who, being the tender-sparked mech he already was, nearly had a spark attack while babysitting Honeydew when the sparkling jumped off of the side of the mountain. Perceptor had been unaware that Arcee had caught her as planned, and he had collapsed from the shock.

Mikaela had walked into the base, not really catching the attentions of anyone, and looked around. Optimus and Elita-One were currently looking after Honeydew. The three youngest mechs were playing an online game (which looked like they were doing nothing more than sitting on the floor and staring into nothing). Ratchet, Barricade, and Perceptor were in the lab. The only one who noticed her come in was Arcee.

"Can I help you?" she asked, looking at Mikaela. Mikaela stared back.

"...Are you a new arrival?"

"No, I've been here for about five years now...what can I do you for?"

"Oh...well, I was just wondering if I could talk to everyone. It's kind of important."

"Alright, hold on a minute, Sweetie," Arcee replied, then headed for Optimus' office.

"...Well that was weird," she muttered, looking at the three young mechs, then jumped when Sunstreaker jumped up from his place on the floor.

"YEAH!" he crowed, pumping his fist in the air. "WHO'S THE BITCH NOW!? BOOYEAH, MOTHA--!"

"Finish that sentence with Honeydew around, and your aft is mine, Sunstreaker!" Optimus growled, walking out to meet Mikaela. Elita-One trailed behind him, carrying Honeydew in her arms. Honeydew saw Mikaela and let out a happy shriek.

"MIKAELA!" she shouted, jumping down from Elita-One and running to hug Mikaela around the waist.

"I'm happy to see you too, Honey!" she said, smiling as she hugged the sparkling back. By this time, Sunstreaker's little shoop-da-whoop had gathered the attention of everyone else in the base, and they came out.

"Mikaela, what a surprise!" Bumblebee said, helping SAW up. SAW remained quiet.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF PRIMUS ALMIGHTY IS GOING ON--oh. Hello, Mikaela," Ratchet said, the tool in his hand being flung back into the lab, where it obviously hit Barricade, who let out a string of Cybertronian curses.

"Hey, everyone," she said, petting Honeydew's head. "...I just came back to let you guys know that the wedding is set for the Fourth of July. The location and other details are on here." He held out a disc to Optimus, who blinked but took it.

"...How is Nathan?" Ratchet asked lightly. Mikaela sighed.

"Well," she said slowly, "when I got him back to my dad's place...he was still in shock. It took him about three hours to form a coherent sentence." She sighed again. "...I asked him if he was okay. All he could really say was 'holy um..." She covered Honeydew's audio receptors, making her blink. "He said 'holy shit, giant robots...giant effing robots, Mikaela, did you see?'"

Sunstreaker snickered, earning him a smack to the head courtesy of Ratchet.

"I told him that yeah, I did see, and that you guys were my friends. He just kinda...looked at me for a few minutes..." She sighed again, then grinned. "...And then he said 'your friends are giant robots? Fuckin' A!'"

"Is that a good thing?" Optimus said, confused.

"Pshyeah, it's a good thing!" Sunstreaker said, grinning. "It means that he thinks we're grade A awesomeness!"

"...In less mature words, he's right," Barricade said, still rubbing his head where Ratchet's tool had earlier hit him.

"I explained a few things to him, sorry, Optimus," Mikaela said. "But he wants to meet you guys...the real you. If you dont mind, that is..."

"No, it's perfectly alright!" Optimus replied, smiling. "We're just happy that no lasting damage occurred, is all." He turned around. "SAW, why dont you..." He paused. "...Where's SAW?"

"Jeeze, that kid dont listen!" Sunstreaker griped, turning to go find him. He was stopped by Arcee, who gave him one of her death glares.

"Leave the boy alone, Sunny," she said. "He has someone with him. Chill."

"...D'joo just tell me to 'chill', lil' girl?"

* * *

Outside, SAW sat on the edge of the cliff with Elita-One, ignoring the sounds of obvious pain from Sunstreaker inside. SAW's hands were wringing together and Elita-One had her arm around him.

"...You need to stop beating yourself up over this," she said softly. "You just heard them...Mikaela's fiance is going to be fine, and she still wants you there." SAW nodded.

"...I know," he replied softly. "It's just..." He put his hands to his face and sighed. "...It just brought back the whole memory...of TC...and Optimus..."

"SAW, Sweetie, you know that Optimus was angry because he was so worried about you," Elita-One said. "And you know that if you had spoken up earlier, then that ruckus wouldnt have happened."

"I know," SAW replied. "It's just....the more I try to help...the more I screw up...!"

"SAW, you dont screw up." She pulled the smaller mech into her arms. "You just dont handle situations very well because you're too afraid to open up to others. I could tell the first day I met you that you have so much bottled inside...things that not even your bonded spark mate knows...things you dont want anyone to know because you're afraid they will think less of you." SAW nodded. "...No matter what you tell me, SAW...I wont think less of you."

SAW let out a small shuddery sigh. "...Promise?" he asked softly. Elita-One nodded. "...I dont want to be the Allspark. I never wanted to be the Allspark. This was just thrown right into my face without warning, and...and people have died for it...gotten hurt for it..." He blinked back the tears in his optics. "...Frenzy died for it. Thundercracker...he cares about me. He went against Starscream and pledged his loyalty to me and me alone. He...he was raped by his own brother for it, Elita...!"

"Shhh...calm down..." She stroked her fingers delicately over SAW's head. "...I understand, SAW, I really do...but I want to ask you..." She waited until SAW gave an affirmative nod. "...Do you have feelings for Thundercracker, too?" She felt SAW freeze in her arms. "...I wont judge you, SAW, it's not my place. I am just honestly curious."

SAW made a soft sound in his throat, then nodded. "...I do," he said in a choked whisper. "I know it's wrong...! I have Barricade...and Bumblebee...!"

"It's not wrong, SAW," Elita-One cut in gently. "It's perfectly fine to feel polyamorous."

"...But is it normal?"

Elita-One sighed. "...It is very uncommon," she said. "But not abnormal. In rare instances back on Cybertron...there were some who had 'families'...three or more bonded spark mates. Three or more mechs all bonded to each other. It became even less common when the war started, because if one died, then most if not all of them died. But it is not an abnormality to feel this way, SAW."

"...I feel...about Thundercracker...the same way I feel about Barricade and Bee," SAW said slowly. "...But...it's only those three...it's like...when I'm around them...someone flicks on a switch inside of me that doesnt happen around anyone else...just those three." Elita-One nodded.

"And that's normal," she said. "Rare, but normal. You merely have feelings for just them, which means that your spark is compatible with theirs. You four have something in common that makes your sparks compatible." SAW nodded back.

"...It...it just feels weird," he said. "I mean...I THINK it's wrong...but I FEEL it's...right." Elita-One squeezed him and kissed the top of his head.

"And that's what you should go with," she said. "What you FEEL. If you deprive yourself of what you feel you should have, it'll eat away at you and make you miserable. Trust me...I know."

"...You and Optimus...arent bonded yet, are you?"

Elita-One sighed. "...I'm afraid not," she said softly. "I brought it up just a few days ago...he said that he didnt want me to suffer should he die." SAW felt her spark flutter a little. "...But I suffer every day I am deprived of that which should belong to me. Deep down inside my spark...I feel that Optimus is my one and only, and it's because of his insistence not to have me hurt that he wont bond with me." She shook her head. "...But if he should die...I would die anyway from a torn spark, because that's how much I love him."

SAW made a soft keening sound in his throat. "...I'm sorry," he said. Elita-One smiled sadly and held him tighter to her.

"Dont be," she replied. "...I'm content just being with him after all these millennia....I can wait for him."

SAW couldnt help but think that after all this time...after all she had done for everyone...she shouldnt have to.

* * *

**Ooookeedokee. I'm thinkin' that next chapter, it gets stepped up a notch.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14

* * *

**

It was quite some time before Elita-One led SAW back into the base. By that time, Mikaela had left and Optimus was looking at the information on the disc she had left. Bumblebee was taking care of Honeydew, who was currently napping on his chest. Ratchet and Barricade were with Sunstreaker, who retained yet some more damage to his person, courtesy of Arcee, who was off somewhere with Perceptor.

"You should take a light recharge, SAW," Elita-One told him softly. "In fact...I think you should take a light recharge after every stress episode you have. It'll make things better."

"Yes, Ma'am," SAW murmured tiredly. He did in fact feel a little drained. Elita-One squeezed his shoulder and sent him off in the direction of his room, then stood beside Optimus as the Autobot leader surveyed the information on the disc with interest.

"...I've sent SAW to his room," she said softly, getting Optimus' attention. "He seemed drained." Optimus nodded.

"That's good," he said softly. "...Mikaela was sad that she didnt see him."

"He blames himself for things that he neednt take the blame for," Elita-One informed. "...He's too sensitive to everything. Every little mishap is the apocalypse to him. It's a terrible state of mind to have."

"I'm aware," Optimus sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose, his agitated habit. "...I just dont know what to do about it."

"There's nothing you really can do about it, Optimus," Elita-One replied softly, holding his arm with both her own. "All you can give him is your support and guidance. Let him do things his own way, figure things out for himself. We cant hold his hand forever." She leaned her head against his shoulder. Optimus shifted his gaze down to her.

"...I know," he replied. "...It's just hard...I have to restrain myself from helping him with every little thing..."

"You really do act like his father," she said, smiling. "I've been here for some time...I've seen how fathers hold thier young one's hand...teach them things...force themselves to let go to let the child do things for themselves...I've seen how it is. And you're a prime example."

"Am I really?" Optimus asked.

"You are."

There was a few moments of silence.

"...So, what about this wedding?"

* * *

SAW was indeed tired, but he couldnt seem to slip into recharge. He just laid there on his recharge pad, staring at the wall until his optics blurred. He sighed and offlined his optics. This was so infuriating! He hated the fact that he couldnt slip into a recharge, even if he tried to force himself. He had taken to playing movies or music to himself at recharge time to pass the time, but that was quickly getting old.

After two hours of trying to fall unconscious, SAW finally heaved a sigh and glared at the wall, debating whether or not to go break something in Ratchet's lab to warrant a few smacks to the head with a tool. He really didnt want this. He just wanted to be normal. In Cybertronian sense, this time, anyway. This sucked.

He was too busy griping over his lack of ability to do something as easy as slip into a little effing recharge that he didnt notice Barricade come in. He must have been grumbling out loud, because Barricade paused at the door and listened for a moment, piecing together what he was trying to say. After that moment, he quietly slipped inside, shut and locked the door, then went over to SAW's recharge pad and sat down on it next to SAW.

"...Are you alright?"

SAW jumped a little, and turned to see that it was just Barricade. "...Yeah," he replied. Barricade made a soft sound.

"No you're not," he replied softly. He reached over to stroke SAW's head. "...I've been sensing this for some time, SAW...why wont you just tell me?" SAW's optics flickered for a moment, then he sighed.

"...I cant recharge properly," he said. "...Not since I was put into this body. Two or three hours, at most."

"Two or three...? SAW...that's not good."

"I know that now," SAW replied. "I mean...physically, I feel fine...but I think I'm starting to suffer mentally..."

"...You cant recharge, even now?" SAW shook his head.

"No." He heaved a sigh. "...It's frustrating..." Barricade made a thoughtful sound, then gently picked his mate up. "...Um...what're you doing...?"

"Helping," Barricade replied, holding SAW as he laid down on the recharge pad, then rearranged SAW on top of him so they were chest-to-chest. "...One of the best ways to induce recharge is a light overload..." He brushed his fingers over the top of his chest, opening it and revealing his spark.

"...Sparking?" SAW blinked, being drawn in by the beautiful blue light. Barricade nodded.

"...If you want to," he said softly. SAW blinked again. He an Barricade hadnt sparked even once since they had become spark mates, as far as he knew. He gently brushed his fingers over his own chest and revealed his spark, immediately feeling the pull between the two sparks. Barricade made a grind-purring sound in his vocals.

"...Did you know that...your spark is an exotic color?" he asked softly. SAW shook his head. He never really had the opportunity to look at it himself. "...It's gold...like your eyes...so beautiful..."

"...Really?" SAW felt another pull and leaned down to press his chest to Barricade's, letting out a trilling groan. Barricade slid his hands up to SAW's back and slipped his fingers around the metal plates.

**"My mate..."** Barricade growled, his own spark pulsing into SAW's. SAW groaned again and felt his spark flutter, his vocals making a sound to mirror the flutter. He relaxed his body over Barricade's, his fingers digging into the metal on the bigger mech's shoulders. Barricade pulled SAW closer to him, reveling in the sensation of their sparks flaring toward the other's.

SAW could feel the pulse of the spark connection flow through every wire in his system, making every little sensation multiply by the tens by the moment. He made soft keening sounds and writhed around on top of Barricade, whose arms were the only things keeping him from toppling onto the floor. Barricade's purring mixed with SAW's keening, and their sparks flared again, making SAW dent Barricade's armor with his fingers.

SAW squirmed around harder against Barricade, his keening growing louder and more needy. Barricade growled, keeping SAW's body held firmly against his own as their sparks pulsed more sharply. It was SAW who first let out a primitive high-pitched shriek as his systems seized up in a blissful overdrive, his spark pulsing frantically, before settling down, rendering him exhausted. Barricade followed just moments later, he himself letting out a loud growl that would've sent anyone unaware of the situation running in terror, but to SAW, it was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard; it was a sound of love and protection and possessiveness.

Barricade held his sparkmate to him, letting their sparks calm down and retract back into their spark casings. After a moment, he gently lifted SAW up and closed their chests, then held SAW to him again, stroking his fingertips down SAW's back. Upon hearing no response, he turned his head to look at SAW.

He had fallen into a deep recharge. Finally.

* * *

"Sunstreaker, what the frag are you doing!?"

Sunstreaker jumped from his previous position of standing in front of SAW's closed door, his head pressed up against the door and audio receptors on full blast, and turned to look guiltily at Arcee, who was standing right behind him, arms crossed and visage scowled.

"...Nothing."

"Do I need to send you back to Ratchet not a half hour after he finally got done with you?"

"NO!"

"Then quit being a pervert and go find something productive to do!"

Sunstreaker slid away from the door, mumbling to himself in Italian, then flipped Arcee the middle finger behind her back.

"I saw that, dumbaft! Dont make me break it!"

Sunstreaker quickly exited the premises, still muttering obscenities in Italian. Arcee smirked behind his back, then went into Ratchet's lab to tell the medic exactly what Sunstreaker was in fact doing.

The yellow Lamborgini was back in that lab for more repairs not five minutes later.

* * *

**It's short, it's sweet, and it's the last bit of fluff you'll see for quite some time. Enjoy it. *evil laugh***


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15

* * *

**

SAW spent the next few days with Perceptor, trying to figure out the problem behind his inability to recharge properly. The scientist had studied the younger mech in every little aspect short of going in for a lobotamy--which he suggested to Ratchet, who had responded with a very loud and forceful NO. So SAW had Perceptor study him while he attempted recharge, when he actually did catch a few hours of recharge, his stress levels and how they affected his mental status, etc.

Perceptor had made an educated hypothesis that SAW's inability to recharge was somehow connected to being the Allspark; the power it held, the stress in his life, and, he concluded, after looking over Ratchet's diagnostics of SAW's physical, and piecing bits of information together, saw that the younger mech's physique was reacting to the Allspark, and he came up with the main reason of SAW's insomnia.

The Allspark was ready to make a new life.

When SAW heard this, he was sure his stress level skyrocketed, which was most certainly doing wonders for his insomnia problem. Great...fan-fucking-tastic.

When Elita-One heard, she shooed everyone away and calmed SAW down, reiterating the fact that the decisions were his and his alone. It didnt comfort SAW much, but he did calm down a little. They had spoken with Perceptor and Ratchet, making the scientist and medic swear upon their very sparks not to tell anyone else--not even Optimus. The last thing SAW needed was pressure to create a new life, no matter how well-intentioned the coaxings might be.

Above and beyond all else, SAW hadnt spoken a word of it to either Bumblebee or Barricade; he knew that the two of them were very close, and he didnt want to start Cybertronian War II because of either of their desires to be the next sparkling father. So he kept it to himself and spent the next week thinking things through.

* * *

It was a lovely day, SAW thought to himself. He was currently sitting outside the base on the edge of the mountain, looking over the horizon. There wasnt a single cloud in the sky, and the sun felt great on his metal armor. The fresh air was doing him good too; Perceptor advised that calming moments like these would be beneficial for recharge, so he was taking the scientists' advice to full heart. His 'chaperon' for today was Sunstreaker, who wasnt too happy with the job. He had bitched and groaned to Optimus that all SAW did when he went outside was just sit out in the sun and do nothing and it was SOOO boring and blah blah blah. But nonetheless, he was sitting just above SAW on the mountain, mumbling to himself about the unfairness of it all, oh the drama, and leaving SAW to his own thing.

SAW almost pitied Sunstreaker, and half debated going back inside for the yellow Lamborghini's sake, but quelled it down, thinking that Sunstreaker needed to be taken down just a few pegs more, and leaned back against the mountainside, letting Sunstreaker suffer his boredom.

"You ready go back inside yet!?"

...Yeah, hold onto THAT dream.

"Why dont you just TRY to enjoy yourself, Sunny?" he called back up. He felt a small rock plink down on his head.

"Dont call me Sunny!"

"Why not? It's a cute nickname!" He grinned when he heard Sunstreaker swear in English, Cybertronian, and Italian.

"I am NOT cute! I am handsome, striking, and debonair!"

SAW couldnt help it; he burst into laughter, almost falling off the side of the mountain. "Shit...Sunny, you're too much, you know that?" Sunstreaker grunted in reply and slid down to stand next to SAW.

"What the frag ever, can we just go back inside?"

SAW sighed. "Sure," he replied, standing up. "You gotta lighten up...get that stick out of your exhaust pipe..." Sunstreaker whapped him upside the head, but didnt reply. SAW smirked and walked back inside, settling down on the makeshift couch. Everyone else was either gone or busy, so he amused himself with playing online poker.

That lasted about ten minutes before he was jerked violently out of his game by Optimus barreling into the main room, shouting for all hands on deck. Everything was dropped and everyone came rushing in. SAW couldnt help but feel his spark pound relentlessly in his spark casing.

"We have an emergency!" he shouted, his faceplate already in place from sheer habit. "Bumblebee, Barricade, Sunstreaker, Ratchet, you're with me! Perceptor, Arcee, Elita-One, stay here with SAW and Honeydew!" Everyone didnt even bother to question what was wrong and followed their leader out. SAW immediately latched onto Elita-One.

"What's going on!?" he cried, panicking. Elita-One rubbed his back.

"I dont exactly know," she replied, her voice worried. "All I heard him say was 'Mikaela'." SAW felt his circuits freeze over.

"...No...! Oh, God, please say she's alright!" Elita-One led him to his room and laid him down on his recharge pad.

"It will be," she said soothingly. "It was just a threat from the Decepticons...they're going to secure the perimeter and make sure nothing happens...Arcee, Perceptor, and I will protect you and Honeydew...we promise..." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Just try to recharge now, okay? I'll wake you up when they all get back." SAW nodded and offlined his optics, willing himself into a light stasis with the promise that everything would be alright.

* * *

Elita-One paced around Optimus' office area, wringing her hands nervously. It had been four hours, and still no word from Optimus. She half debated calling him up on the comm several times before reminding herself that this was Optimus Prime she was worried over, and decided to calm down. It was going to be okay, she kept reminding herself. Arcee was out front, watching the sky and land for any Decepticons; Perceptor was keeping Honeydew safe in his science lab which doubled as a safe room; SAW was recharging in his room, which was locked from the inside, and she was guarding it. It was going to be fine.

She sighed and formed a comm link with Arcee. **"What's your update, Arcee?"** she asked softly. All she heard was static, and she adjusted the frequency a bit. **"Arcee, is everything clear?" ** Nothing.** "Arcee!" **Elita-One felt her spark leap in its casing, and took one last look at SAW's closed door before heading outside. "Arcee, is everything all--ARCEE!"

Arcee was lying on the ground, unconscious, in a small pool of energon. Elita-One rushed to her and picked her up. "Arcee! Arcee, wake up! Arcee!" She quickly opened up Arcee's chest, and sighed with heavy relief when she saw Arcee's spark still completely unharmed. She carefully carried her comrade back into the base, her spark pounding into its casing. Something was very wrong.

**"Optimus!"**

There was a moment of silence, then Optimus came in. **"Elita-One, what's the matter?"**

**"I dont know!"** Elita-One set Arcee down on the makeshift couch. **"I just found Arcee outside, unconscious, with some energon dripping out of her neck! I didnt hear anything else, but I think that something is very wrong here, Optimus! How soon can you come back?"**

**"Soon," **Optimus replied.** "There is nothing wrong here that would suggest an attack. We'll gather and return within the hour. Can you make sure SAW remains safe until then?"**

**"I will guard him with my life," **she replied softly**. "Hurry, please...I just have this feeling that something is very very wro--!"**

She cut off when she heard something in SAW's room; something that suggested that the young mech was not alone in that room. Without properly closing the comm link, Elita-One raced for SAW's room and quickly pressed in the override code for the inside lock to open the door--and immediately went into battle mode when she saw an unidentified small mech dragging an unconscious but unharmed SAW through the secret emergency exit.

She pulled SAW back into the room, dragging the smaller mech with it, and grabbed the mech by the neck. "WHO ARE YOU!?" she demanded, activating and aiming her cannon at its head as she held it by the neck with her other hand. The mech let out threatening shrieks at her, clawing at her arm. She shoved the cannon into its face. "ANSWER ME!"

The mech stopped struggling and stared up at her, grinning maliciously. **"We are your end,"** he replied nastily. Elita-One stared at him, confused, for a moment, before crying out in pain when a cannon shot struck her shoulder. She dropped the mech, who immediately headed toward SAW, who was waking up. The smaller Decepticon let out a soft keening sound, and SAW fell back into stasis.

**"Excellent work, Gammawave,"** said the mech who had shot Elita-One. **"No use using that back entrance...let's head out the front door. Skywarp is waiting for us."**

**"As you wish, Bludgeon."** The smaller mech stepped aside and let Bludgeon pick SAW up, and latched himself onto Bludgeon's back. Elita-One groaned and lifted her head up to see the large mech carry SAW out the door.

"No...!" She shakily stood up and followed Bludgeon out to the front. Her cannons were useless; that shot to the shoulder completely severed her connection to the cannon. She had to wing this to keep SAW here long enough for the other Autobots to arrive. She took a running start and tackled Bludgeon from behind, dropping them both to the ground as Bludgeon lost his hold on SAW. Gammawave let out an angry yelp and turned around to shriek at Elita-One, who felt her audio receptors overload almost to the maximum. She put her hands over her head and focused just long enough to disable her audio receptors and swipe at Gammawave, catching him on the head and tossing him farther away.

Elita-One then to Bludgeon and tackled him again away from SAW. "I wont let you take him again!" she shouted at him, even though she couldnt hear herself, and took to pummeling Bludgeon with all she could before the larger mech had the opportunity to use metallicato or psychokinesis on her.

He recovered faster than she expected, and managed to punch her off of him and sent her sprawling onto her back. He stood up, watching her with cold optics as she dragged herself up and toward SAW.

"...Wont...let you take him...!" she bit out, fighting to keep from going offline. She reached out to SAW, who was just within her fingertips, and cried out in pain when Bludgeon slammed his foot down on her arm, crushing it. She let out keens of pain and fought to free it, resulting in her wrenching her arm clean from her body. She let out another cry of pain and turned to SAW again. "...SAW.....!" She reached again and brushed his face with her fingertips.

Had she not disabled her audio reception, she would have heard Bludgeon charge up his cannon. She kept her focus on SAW, feeling unconscious weigh heavily on her, and knew no more when Bludgeon pulled the trigger.

* * *

Optimus tore up to the base, almost stumbling as he transformed from truck to mech as he saw Elita-One lying on the ground. He rushed up to her and knelt down, his circuits almost melting from rage. The femme was missing an arm and she had a large hole in her chest. "ELITA!!!" He picked her up in his arms, shaking with rage. "ELITA!!!"

Ratchet was the next to transform, and gently pulled Elita-One from Optimus to check on her spark status. He growled when he saw that her spark was faint and flickering. Without another word, he picked her up and rushed into his lab as everyone else scattered to find the others and assess the situation.

Bumblebee and Barricade immediately raced to SAW's room, letting out shrieks of outrage and fear when SAW was absent. Sunstreaker pounded on Perceptor's lab until the scientist came out, holding a crying Honeydew in his shaking arms. By this time Arcee was regaining consciousness, and jerked up, then fell back down to her resting place with a cry of pain and clutched at her neck.

"Arcee! What happened!?" Optimus demanded, his clenched fists shaking. Arcee made a soft sound of pain, holding her head still.

"...Surprise attack...!" she choked out, some energon dripping out of her mouth. "...Bludgeon...attacked...! SAW...is he safe...?"

"...SAW's not here...!" Bumblebee stuttered, his optics flickering.

"...They planned this...!" Perceptor cut in, his voice soft from anger and fear. "...They deliberately sent a threat to you about Mikaela, knowing that you would take the strongest with you! They planned this!"

"...SAW's...gone...!" Bumblebee seemed to be on the verge of a meltdown as he clutched to Barricade to keep himself from collapsing onto the floor. Barricade was making a forced grinding sound in his throat, as though his gears were jamming up. He let out a loud roar and barreled out the door, shooting off his cannons at anything in his way.

**"I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!"** he screamed at the sky. **"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU AND SENT YOUR REMAINS TO UNICRON FOR THIS!!!" **He shot more rounds and slashed at the forest and mountains with his blade, letting out swears and promises of pain and death as he did so. Bumblebee covered his head with his hands, keening painfully and shaking his head, muttering to himself. Sunstreaker punched the wall, letting out a string of curses. Optimus just stood in the middle of the room, his fists clenched and his spark pulsating violently in its casing.

Indeed, he thought darkly to himself. There would be Hell to pay for this.

* * *

**Whew...well, more to come! Stay tuned!**


End file.
